Moore. I read this solemn truth, as in a glass,—
'Whate'er will happen's sure to come to pass;'
"And if it don't, why 'set me down an ass.'"
Rig. Fun. That's done already; for to me 'twas plain,
An ass you were, and ever would remain.
Moore. Avaunt! I'll speak no more to ears profane.
[The scene openeth, and discovereth the Shade of the great Astrologer, Lilly, enveloped in a fog, who claspeth Francis Moore in his arms, and mizzleth off with him in a mist.—N.B. The renowned Physician droppeth his threadbare mantle, which falleth on Rigdum Funnidos, who maketh his exit therewith joyfully.
| JANUARY. | [1835. | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| When you first go to bathe, gentle Sir, in a river, | |||
| If you dip in one foot, it will give you a shiver; | |||
| But if you've the pluck to plunge in your whole body, | |||
| You'll not shiver at all, you poor timid noddy! | |||
| Just so with my rhymes,—I've got thro' my first trouble: | |||
| Had I stood shilly-shally, my toil had been double. | |||
| M | Season's | Odd Matters. | WEATHER. |
| D | Signs. | ||
| 1 | toes | ||
| 2 | nose | COMFORTS OF THE SEASON. | Weather |
| 3 | froze | Chilblains sore on all your toes, | likely |
| Icicles hang from your nose | |||
| 4 | blue | Rheumatis' in all your limbs; | ☍ ☌ △ ♄ |
| Noddle full of aches and whims; | |||
| 5 | who | Chaps upon your hands and lips, | to be |
| And lumbago in your hips. | |||
| 6 | you | To your bed you shiv'ring creep, | cold |
| There to freeze, but not to sleep; | |||
| 7 | ice | For the sheets, that look so nice, | |
| Are to you two sheets of ice; | □ ♃ △ ♂ | ||
| 8 | trice | Wearied out, at length you doze, | |
| And snatch, at last, a brief repose, | if | ||
| 9 | down | Dream all night that you're a dab, | |
| Lying on fishmonger's slab. | |||
| 10 | crown | While indulging in a snore, | the frost |
| There comes a rap at chamber door; | |||
| 11 | folk | Screaming voice of Betty cries: | |
| "If you please, it's time to rise." | △ ⚹ ☉ | ||
| 12 | joke | Up you start, and, on the sheet, | |
| Find your breath is chang'd to sleet; | is very old: | ||
| 13 | in | Tow'rds the glass you turn your view, | |
| Find your nose of purple hue, | |||
| 14 | grin | Looking very like, I trow, | If no snow |
| Beet-root in a field of snow. | |||
| 15 | out | You would longer lie, but nay, | ☿ ♄ △ ♂ □ |
| Time is come,—you must away. | |||
| 16 | shout | Out you turn, with courage brave, | |
| Slip on drawers,—and then to shave! | should | ||
| 17 | cram | Seize the jug, and in a trice, | |
| Find the water chang'd to ice: | chance to | ||
| 18 | ham | Break the ice, and have to rue | |
| That you've broke the pitcher too. | fall | ||
| 19 | jam | Water would not run before; | |
| Now, it streams upon the floor, | |||
| 20 | dram | Threat'ning with a fearful doom, | □ ☌ ⚹ ☉ |
| Ceiling of the drawing-room. | |||
| 21 | twelfth | In the frenzy of despair, | |
| You seize you don't know what, nor care, | then | ||
| 22 | night | Mop up all the wet and dirt, | |
| And find you've done it with your shirt; | perhaps | ||
| 23 | bright | Your only shirt,—all filth and slosh,— | |
| For all the rest are in the wash. | |||
| 24 | sight | Into bed you turn again, | ☿ △ ♂ ☉ ⚹ |
| Ring the bell with might and main, | |||
| 25 | bake | Stammer out to Betty, why | □ ♄ |
| 'Twixt the sheets you're forc'd to lie, | |||
| 26 | cake | 'Till, pitying your feelings hurt, | |
| She dabs you out another shirt. | no frost | ||
| 27 | nice | ||
| 28 | slice | ☉ □ △ | |
| 29 | twice | ||
| at all. | |||
| 30 | quaff | ||
| 31 | laugh | ♃ △ ☍ □ ♂ | |
JANUARY.