And vonderful lambs vithout niver a head, and vonderfuller pigs with three;
And ships a svimmin' about in the air, instead of on the water, vere they orts to be;
And chaps a selling peppermint to keep the cold out, vich is jest the vorst thing under the sun;
And people a having their names printed on cards, vot can't read 'em ven they're done;
And lads and lasses a dancing and singing, and up to all manner o' queer raps;
And fat sheep a roasting whole, but not a bit for us poor amphibilous chaps;
And fellers a playing at nine pins on the ice, vot can't stand on their own two;
And ticket porters a stopping to see Punch, instead of going on their arrans, as they orts to do;
And firemen a cutting about here and there, as big and grand as any lord or squire.
Vith their red coats and badges—I s'pose they're afeard o' someb'dy's setting the Thames afire—