Did you ever know a red-haired man who had a very clear notion of where scarlet began and auburn terminated?
Did you ever know a beef-eater go to the play in his uniform?
Did you ever know a subscriber to the Anti-Cruelty-to-Animals Society who didn't kick the cat?
Did you ever know a lady with fine eyes wear green spectacles?
Did you ever know an amateur singer without "a horrid bad cold?"
Did you ever see a cool fat woman in black in the dog-days?
Did you ever go to see Jack Sheppard without feeling a propensity to run home and rob your mother?
Did you ever know an author who had not been particularly ill-used by the booksellers?
Did you ever know fifty killed and fifty wounded by a railroad accident, without the fifty who were not killed being congratulated by the directors that they were only wounded?
Did you ever know a man who did not consider that he added ten years to his life by reading the "Comic Almanack?"