The Comic Almanack, Volume 1 / An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities

by William Makepeace Thackeray; Gilbert Abbott À Beckett; Henry Mayhew; Horace Mayhew; Albert Smith

For your heart is as hard as a stone;

But she means to be married next week;

Then she'll 'do what she likes with her own.'

AUGUST.——Bathing at Brighton.

1836.]		AUGUST.
Perhaps the Minister has passed the budget, and given the Houses leave to trudge it;—the lawyer folds his brief, with little grief;—closed are the Halls, against all calls;—John Doe and Richard Roe may go;—the debtor breathes, respited from mishap; and Bailiffs, wanting jobs, may keep a Tap.
M	Season's	Odd Matters.	WEATHER.
D	Signs.
1	In
2	Germany	BRIGHTON.
3	they	Well here, once more, on Brighton's shore,	the end of
		We're safe arrived at last;
4	rest	So, Mister Snip, don't have the hyp,	☽ ♓ ☌ ☍
		Nor look so overcast.
5	their		my
		We've not been here this many a year;
6	heads	So do not look so blue,
		But sport your cash, and cut a dash,	divining
7	betwixt	As other people do.
8	a pair	There's Mistress Skait,-she wouldn't wait,	rod,
		But off she tripp'd so gaily:
9	of	She struts along amid the throng:	⚹ ♈ ♃ ♐ ♊
		Her husband isn't scaly.
10	feather		☉ ♐ ♓
		There's Mistress Wick, and little Dick,
11	beds;	Have come to have a dipping;	and
		And there's her niece, who's been to Greece,
12	a famous	Is now all over dripping.
			exploring
13	plan, I	And oh, what fun! there's Martha Gunn
		(But no, that gun's gone off),
14	will be	But only look at that sea-cook	the mazes
		A-sousing Mrs. Gough.
15	bound,
		Well, I declare, there's Mrs. Ware	of
16	while	(She's every where, I think)—
		Her spouse, I know, is quite her beau,
17	frost &	And never spares the chink.	☉ ♃ ♐ ♂ ☍
18	snow	And, last of all, there's Mr. Ball,
		Who promis'd Mrs. B—	futurity,
19	are on	And kindly has redeem'd his pledge,—
		That she should see the sea.
20	the		with the
		So, Mister Snip, don't have the hyp,
21	ground,	Nor look so monstrous blue;
		But sport your cash, and cut a dash,	heedfulness
22	but	As other people do.
23	in the		♎ ♅ ☉ ♐
24	Dog
			of one, who,
25	Days'
			knowing
26	raging
			the
27	heat, I
28	shouldn't		♃ ♉ ♒ ☽
29	think it		weightiness
30	such a		of the
31	treat.

Advertisements Extraordinary.

THEATRE ROYAL, ENGLISH UPROAR.—The Proprietor respectfully announces that, while the cold weather lasts, he will present each visitor to the Boxes or Pit with a bucket of "thick-ribbed ICE;" and assures the Public that the temperature of the Theatre is so comfortably regulated that it is never more than 50 degrees below the freezing point.

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THEATRE ROYAL, DREARY LANE.—This