"Last week the daughter of the late Miss Biffin was wheeled to the altar, and gave her foot in marriage to the Honourable James Jessamy. Here's a state of things!"
[An interval of ten years is supposed to elapse.
"Glorious news, glorious news! The prayers that have been read in church for the last six months are answered. The 'Lover's Hope,' A 1, has been spoken with off Deal. She has a splendid cargo of fine healthy angels. Three marriage offers were made off Ramsgate through speaking-trumpets.
"Gravesend.—Met all my old companions, like myself, with wedding-rings and wedding-cakes under their arms. As many of the pets have dark complexions—most of them, indeed, are quite black—some of the fellows brought glass beads, nails, and old knives with them.
"Hurrah! we have struck our bargains and paid the duty. This morning two hundred of us were married, ten at a time. The clergyman fainted. My dear angelic wife is of a beautiful japan black. I clothed her before introducing her to my friends. The dear affectionate creature presented me, after the ceremony, with a joint of her little finger, neatly done up in a piece of her red shawl. It is a custom of their country. I had to buy her, for her wedding trousseau, six bright tin saucepans and a set of polished fire-irons that she took a fancy to on her way to church."
[A short interval is supposed to elapse.
"Three quarters of a year of unexampled bliss have fled quickly by: I am the father of two raisin-coloured little heirs. I wish I could persuade my wife not to wear the kitchen poker suspended from her neck."
[An interval of ten years is finally supposed to elapse.
"Despair! Despair! Why did not the 'Matchmaker' arrive a few years sooner? She is laden with the loveliest cream-coloured Circassians.
"Death or Bigamy!"