Rank and Talent; A Novel, Vol. 2 (of 3)

by William Pitt Scargill

At the Countess of Trimmerstone's evening party, this worthy doctor felt himself highly honored. He expected much attention from all present, but of that he failed. To several he made the attempt to talk knowingly and learnedly; but most of those whom he addressed had not the organ of discussionativeness strongly developed. Proud therefore as he felt himself, and honored as he conceived himself to be at this evening party, he found that there were in the world some individuals who did not think quite so highly of him as they ought to do; but he took it for granted that they were very ignorant people who were not capable of understanding him. In the course of the evening it so happened that this worthy doctor encountered our friend Miss Henderson. When great geniuses meet, they are sure to recognise each other. So was it in the instance before us. For Miss Henderson and Dr. Crack had been looking about the room to find some one on whom to vent their wisdom; and when they met, they were most happily met. If Markham had but known Dr. Crack and Miss Henderson, and had known that they were talking wisdom and sentiment together at the Earl of Trimmerstone's, his mind would have been relieved from a very heavy burden, and he would have had some well-founded hopes of getting rid of the incumbrance of Miss Henderson's heart. When the two wise ones had been conversing some little time, and they thought that they had impressed each other with a proper sense of their own wisdom, they next wished to let each other know their own importance. This could not be done directly, but indirectly. The doctor was desirous of extending his reputation with a view to business; and the young lady wished all elegant people and lovers of wisdom and sentiment to hear her pa preach his pretty superfine sermons. It is an easy matter to make oneself known to a stranger, there was no necessity for the doctor to say, "I am the great doctor Crack;" nor was it necessary for Miss Henderson to say, "My pa preaches pretty sermons." The doctor to reveal himself to the lady began to talk about such of his patients as bore titles, and some of these had been at the chapel where Mr. Henderson preached, so Miss Henderson could thus inform the doctor that her pa was the celebrated fancy preacher. Thereupon the doctor said,

"Indeed! I have heard judicious and intellectual persons highly eulogise the eloquent orations of Mr. Henderson; so that I have more than once had a contemplation of attending at that highly celebrated chapel. There is something in eloquence, in fine eloquence, so fine and so rapturous, that it is truly captivating and enchanting."

Miss Henderson hearing this eloquent encomium on her father's eloquence was greatly delighted, and in a moment she thought Dr. Crack the most pleasant and agreeable man in the world. Miss Henderson was especially pleased with splendid talk and fine orations. Now though her father was very elegant as to his pulpit ministrations, he was in his ordinary talk very plain and straightforward. His daughter however very much admired finery in language at all times, and upon all occasions. It was pleasant therefore to her to listen to the sublimities of Dr. Crack. With readiness and gratitude she replied,

"Eloquence must indeed, sir, be a very high gratification to those who like you can comprehend and enjoy it. It would give me great pleasure to see so good a judge as you at our chapel. Indeed I must do justice to the gentleman who reads prayers. He has a most beautiful and melodious voice: it is quite music. I think you would be highly gratified to hear him read: I am sure you would. Your voice, sir, puts me very much in mind of his."

"That," replied Dr. Crack, "is exactly what I admire. A beautiful intonation and a correct enunciation, give great force and beauty to reading. Truly beautiful reading is a rare accomplishment, because so few persons are capable of reading beautifully and gracefully. But of course where there is such a preacher as Mr. Henderson, there must of necessity be a good and graceful reader also. I apprehend, madam, that the pulpit, the bar, and the stage, are the three great schools of oratory; and I humbly presume to utter it as my decided and unhesitating opinion, that the pulpit is the sublimest school of the three. We have had and have in our kingdom most magnificent and splendid orators in the pulpit. But, alas! I am sorry to say that my profession does not permit me to attend at church so frequently as I could wish. It would indeed give me great pleasure to listen to such a gentleman as Mr. Henderson; but if I go into church I am sure to be called out, and I am rather fearful lest any censorious people should imagine or apprehend that I am only called out for display: therefore it is I am too seldom at church. I dislike display very much indeed."

"So do I," replied Miss Henderson; "real merit never needs to have recourse to any kind of display to make itself known. It will always be discovered and patronised. I have heard of your fame, Dr. Crack, and I have often wished that my ma, who is dreadfully nervous, would be wise enough to put herself under your care. I am sure she never will be well till she does."

"You flatter me, madam; but indeed I may say that I have a very peculiar mode of treating those complaints; and few cases are so obstinate as not to yield to my treatment. I have cured the Duchess of K., and the Marchioness of P., and the Countess of V., and many others of inferior note. There is a peculiar art in the management of nervous disorders, which I have studied with the greatest care. I was once very nervous myself, therefore I know the proper mode of treatment by actual experience."

Much as it was the practice for Dr. Crack to talk of his own wonderful exploits in the healing art, we do not suppose that our readers will be very desirous of having from us a very elaborate report of all the speeches made by the skilful leech to Miss Henderson. The young lady, however, did very much admire, and very highly commend and compliment, all that the doctor was pleased to say on the subject of medicine; and she listened attentively, because she loved knowledge, and because the voice which uttered it was very musical, and because she was very desirous that the learned and skilful doctor should go to the fine chapel to hear pa's fine sermons, and to listen to the truly elegant and beautiful style in which prayers were read. Many other topics of conversation were started and pursued by these two knowing ones, and the evening passed away pleasantly to them, and they enjoyed what they both liked; namely, an opportunity for exhibiting their own wisdom, taste, and what they thought eloquence.