CHAPTER XVIII.
"So wondrous dull and yet so wondrous vain."
Churchill.
When Miss Henderson returned home from the party she ascertained that Markham had called; but she was not nearly so interested with the information as she would have been the day before. All the time that she was at Lord Trimmerstone's talking with the magnificent Dr. Crack, no thought of Markham entered her mind. Her only thought and all her interest were with the profoundly eloquent and prodigiously skilful doctor, by whose peculiar mode of treatment she hoped that her ma would be effectually cured of her nervousness. Soon as morning dawned, or at least soon as breakfast commenced, which might be a little after dawning of day, Miss Henderson let slip her tongue with mighty volubility on the subject of nerves, and in praise of the very agreeable, intelligent, and skilful Dr. Crack, by whose peculiar mode of treatment all nervous disorders, past, present, and to come, from whatever source arising, were immediately and infallibly cured. Mrs. Henderson, poor thing, had no faith; for she firmly believed that the doctor knew nothing about nerves, and in her mind the terms nervous and incurable were nearly, if not totally, the same in their meaning. Miss Henderson, however, had fully made up her mind that the doctor, who had a peculiar mode of healing nervous disorders, should be sent for; and it is no easy matter to manage an obstinate, favorite, clever daughter, of whose wisdom the parents have so high an idea as Mr. and Mrs. Henderson had of the wisdom of their dear Rebecca. By persevering importunity the young lady succeeded, and the doctor was sent for; and so very attentive was this worthy doctor, that notwithstanding his prodigiously extensive practice, and his incessant occupation, he came immediately. He asked the usual questions, made the usual grimaces, scribbled the usual prescription, took the usual fee, and did not immediately take his leave; but suffered all his other anxious and impatient patients to wait his time, while he entered into a learned discourse with Mr. Henderson. The little which Mr. Henderson had ever learned of classical literature at school or college he had nearly forgotten; and the little which Dr. Crack had learned he remembered quite enough to make himself disagreeable to those who having forgotten do not wish to advertise their forgetfulness to all the world. As well as he could, Mr. Henderson parried his talk, and evaded his interrogations; but the ingenious doctor did not perceive that he was making himself disagreeable, he therefore talked away till, showing his own ignorance, the worthy divine was not quite so much afraid of his learning; and then they understood one another a little better, and they talked on many other topics than those of literature, and a little acquaintance and sociability grew up between them, and many truisms and common places were uttered by them. In the conversation Miss Henderson also took her part, and endeavoured to be as eloquent as Dr. Crack; but she could not. When the doctor was gone, then were his praises loudly sounded by Miss Henderson. Then it was—
"There, pa; did not I tell you what a prodigiously clever man the doctor was? Is not he eloquent? Is not he a truly scientific man? I wonder where he comes from. I never heard of him till very lately. I think he will in time be one of the first physicians in the kingdom. Well, I hope his prescriptions will do ma good. What a very pretty hand he writes for a doctor! I declare I can almost read it. He attends a great many persons of rank. I wonder he does not get knighted; I think he will soon, he must find it useful in his profession. And he is a man of so much sentiment and sensibility. I think he is a very amiable man. Physicians ought to be amiable men. Really, there are some that are enough to make one nervous, if one was ever so strong and healthy; but Dr. Crack, on the contrary, is all amiableness and sentiment. What a very pleasant voice he has!"
The assenting interjections with which pa and ma filled up this morsel of encomium we have not thought it necessary to insert. Our readers will take it for granted, that whatever so favorite and clever a daughter as Miss Henderson should be pleased to say would not, of course, receive from her father and mother any thing short of the most unequivocal assent. That is a wise provision which makes parents look with such ingenious partiality on their own children, and which prevents them from seeing what all the rest of the world can see. It would be very painful to many parents if they could see their own children with the same eyes as the rest of the world can see them. Many are the virtues which only a parent's eye can discern; and it is pleasant, that by no logic or declamation whatever can they be undeceived. Pleasant also it is that those wiseacres, calling themselves philosophers, who are hunting after what they are pleased to call truth, should hunt eternally and unsuccessfully. Truth that is unpleasant and unprofitable, is better lost than found. There, reader, scream out at that sentence, throw the book away, and put yourself into a most pious and philosophical passion. We tell you plainly, there are many truths which you cannot find, and which would do you no good if you could; and there are truths which you might find out if you would, but you do not like the look of them, and you will not find them, but will turn away your eyes for fear of seeing truth. We are all of us more or less self-deceivers. Miss Henderson, perhaps, was somewhat more so than the average; she carried the system almost to perfection. It was her will and pleasure to think Dr. Crack a most truly skilful and intelligent physician; and how should she know any thing about the matter? In this fancy, however, she copied from many much wiser than herself, who think that they who know nothing about physic should know who and who are good physicians.
Dr. Crack now had the honor and happiness of reckoning Mrs. Henderson among his nervous patients; and his visits were remarkably long, considering how many patients he had. Mr. Henderson was a person very much to the taste of Dr. Crack, who gloried in celebrity. Never was he so happy as when he was able to claim acquaintance with those of whom the world talked loudly. And when Mr. Henderson found that the pompous and swelling doctor was not quite such a prodigy of literature as he had at their first interview affected to be, he conversed with him more freely and more agreeably. So it came to pass, that the doctor in a very short time became a regular acquaintance of the family. Never was Miss Henderson out of the way when the doctor's visits were at all anticipated; and thus there was a little compensation afforded for the apparent loss of Horatio Markham.
All this while Markham did not discontinue his visits, but made them shorter and fewer, and was very shy of sentimentality. As yet he was not aware of the visits and intimacy of the ingenious and celebrated Dr. Crack, nor was he at all acquainted with the fact of a rival so happily and opportunely taking his place in Miss Henderson's affections. Perhaps Miss Henderson herself was not aware another transfer of her affections was quite so near at hand, as was really the fact. Miss Henderson did not wish to behave unhandsomely to Markham, and at the same time did not wish to behave unhandsomely to herself. But as the young lady was very good-natured and ardent in her expressions, especially those of commendation and approbation; and as the celebrated Dr. Crack had as high an opinion of his own literary acquirements and profound general wisdom, and superb fashionable manners, as he had of his prodigiously great medical skill; and as he was mightily well pleased with those who were mightily well pleased with him, it is very true that in a very short time he found himself so well pleased with Miss Henderson, that he began to spend much time in her company.
While thus neglecting his patients to talk sentimentality with Miss Henderson, and swallow boluses of flattery from the fair lips of the lovely daughter of the fashionable preacher, this skilful doctor inadvertently suffered his affections to be fixed, as far as affections like his could be fixed on any one, on the sentimental and scientific young lady. Notoriety was the doctor's great passion. To be distinguished in the world was in his view the sum and supremacy of earthly bliss. Through this passion might his heart be won, and by this principle might he be easily led, either to wisdom or folly as the case might require.