9. QUICK THOUGHT
[The following illustrates the advantages of a happy retort, the importance of a felicitous phrase, or of quick thought and ready speech. It might be said that the preceding speaker was as ready as:]
When Napoleon (then a student at Brienne) was asked how he would supply himself with provisions in a closely-invested town, he answered, without a moment's hesitation, "From the enemy," which so pleased the examiners that they passed him without further questions.
10. [The Russian General Suvaroff is said to have promoted one of his sergeants for giving substantially the same answer.]
The Emperor Paul, of Russia, was so provoked by the awkwardness of an officer on review that he ordered him to resign at once and retire to his estate. "But he has no estate," the commander ventured. "Then give him one!" thundered the despot, whose word was law, and the man gained more by his blunders than he could have done by years of the most skillful service.
11. [The anger of an actor took the same turn as that of the Czar.]
Colley Cibber once missed his "cue," and the confusion that followed spoiled the best passage of Betterton, who was manager as well as actor. He rushed behind the scenes in a towering passion, and exclaimed, "Forfeit, Master Colley; you shall be fined for such stupidity!" "It can't be done," said a fellow-actor, "for he gets no salary." "Put him down for ten shillings a week and fine him five!" cried the furious manager.
12. INSIGNIFICANT THINGS
[The need of accuracy, or how insignificant things sometimes change the meaning, is shown by the following.]
A merchant of London wrote his East India factor to send him 2 or 3 apes; but he forgot to write the "r" in "or," and the factor wrote that he had sent 80, and would send the remainder of the 2 0 3 as soon as they could be gathered in.