Husband—"May I hear about it?"
"Well, yes; I dreamed I was in a great establishment where they sold husbands. They were beauties; some in glass cases and marked at fearful prices, and others were sold at less figures. Girls were paying out fortunes, and getting the handsomest men I ever saw. It was wonderful."
"Did you see any like me there, dear?"
"Yes; just as I was leaving I saw a whole lot like you lying on the remnant counter."
40. INDIRECT AND DIRECT
[The following instances show that it is necessary to heed indirect as well as direct meanings.]
Mr. Callon, M. P. for Louth, Ireland, a stanch opponent of the Sunday Closing and Permissive Bill and personally a great benefactor to the Revenue, replying to the Irish Attorney-General, said: "The facts relied on by the learned gentleman are very strange. Now, Mr. Speaker, I swallow a good deal. ['Hear, hear,' 'Quite true,' 'Begorra, you can,' and roars of laughter.] I repeat, I can swallow a great deal ['Hear, hear,' and fresh volleys of laughter], but I can't swallow that." A few nights before, in a debate which had to do with the Jews, Baron de Worms had just remarked, "We owe much to the Jews," when there came a feeling groan from a well-known member in his back corner, "We do."
41. AN UNMARRIED MAN'S WIFE
At a dinner at Delmonico's, after the bottle had made its tenth round, one of the company proposed this toast: "To the man whose wife was never vixenish to him!" A wag of an old bachelor jumped up and said: "Gentlemen, as I am the only unmarried man at this table, I suppose that that toast was intended for me."