"Good for you," said the teacher, encouragingly; "tell the class on which side the most people are."
"On the outside," piped the youngster, and whatever answer the teacher had in her mind was lost in the shuffle.
46. PERPLEXED
Bob—"Hello! I'm awfully glad to see you!" Dick—"I guess there must be some mistake. I don't owe you anything, and I am not in a condition to place you in a position to owe me anything!"
47. BEN FRANKLIN'S OYSTERS
Benjamin Franklin was not unlike other boys in his love for sophomoric phrases. It is related that one day he told his father that he had swallowed some acephalus molluscus, which so alarmed him that he shrieked for help. The mother came in with warm water, and forced half a gallon down Benjamin's throat with the garden pump, then held him upside down, the father saying, "If we don't get those things out of Bennie he'll be poisoned sure." When Benjamin was allowed to get his breath he explained that the articles referred to were oysters. His father was so indignant that he whipped him for an hour for frightening the family. Franklin never afterward used a word with two syllables when a monosyllable would do.
48. FAMILY AFFAIRS
"Newlywed seems to find particular delight in parading his little family affairs before the eyes of his acquaintances," "Does he? What are they? Scandals?" "Nop, twins."
49. A BURGLAR'S EXPERIENCE
A New York paper prints this extract from the reminiscences of a retired burglar: