64. BRAGGING VETERANS
In warning veterans against exaggerating, a gentleman at a Washington banquet related the following anecdote of a Revolutionary veteran, who, having outlived nearly all his comrades, and being in no danger of contradiction, rehearsed his experience thuswise: "In that fearful day at Monmouth, although entitled to a horse, I fought on foot. With each blow I severed an Englishman's head from his body, until a huge pile of heads lay around me, great pools of blood on either side, and my shoes were so full of the same dreadful fluid that my feet slipped beneath me. Just then I felt a touch upon my shoulder, and, looking up, who should I behold but the great and good Washington himself! Never shall I forget the majesty and dignity of his presence, as, pressing his hand upon me, he said, 'My young friend, restrain yourself, and for heaven's sake do not make a slaughter-house of yourself.'"
65. EXCHANGING MINDS
Heinrich Heine, the German poet, apologizing for feeling dull after a visit from a professor said: "I am afraid you find me very stupid. The fact is, Dr. —— called upon me this morning, and we exchanged our minds."
66. BUYING A LAWYER
[The willingness to pay full value for an article is a trait of character always appreciated.]
Lawyer B—— called at the office of Counselor F——, who has had considerable practice in bankruptcy, and said: "See here, F——, I want to know what the practice is in such and such a case in bankruptcy."
F——, straightening himself up and looking as wise as possible, replied: "Well, Mr. B——, I generally get paid for telling what I know."
B—— put his hand into his pocket, drew forth half a dollar, handed it to F——, and said: "Here, tell me all you know, and give me the change."