78. SATISFIED WITH HIS SITUATION
[The following may not be strictly true, but it well illustrates that there is always a lower depth in misfortune, and—that Western roads are often somewhat muddy.]
Some years ago, when riding along one of the almost impassable roads in the far West, I observed a dark-looking object lying in the middle of the road, and my natural curiosity impelled me to dismount and examine it. It proved to be a hat, somewhat muddy and dilapidated, but emphatically a hat. On lifting it up, to my surprise I found that it covered a head—a human head—which protruded sufficiently out of the mud to be recognizable as such. I ventured to address the evidently wide-awake head, and remarked that it seemed to be in a pretty bad sort of a fix.
"Wa'al, yes!" the lips replied; "you're about right thar, stranger; but then I ain't anyway near as bad off as the horse that's under me!"
79. A GOOD WORD FOR THE DEVIL
A conference preacher one day went into the house of a Wesleyan Reformer, and saw the portraits of three expelled ministers suspended from the walls.
"What!" said he, "have you got them hanging there?"
"Oh! yes," was the answer; "they are there."
"Ah! well; but one is wanted to complete the set."
"Pray, who is that?"