I have in my acquaintance scores of mothers in the professions, newspaper women, women who have carved out brilliant careers for themselves, women who have taught school for twenty years while their children have been growing up, women physicians who have risen in the esteem of all their professional brothers and sisters, women who have conducted cooking schools, who have occupied positions of trust in hospitals and in every walk of life, and who have successfully reared children at the same time.
You will pardon me for being personal when I say that since our own little fellow was six weeks old his clothes have been washed and mended and his food has been prepared by earnest and honest women who had not fitted themselves for the career which this boy's mother had chosen. His mother went to her office, cared for her patients, kept up by the side of her husband in the battle of life. All the time there was a woman at home just devoted to that little fellow.
A newspaper woman recently told me her story—a story which should impress everyone of my readers as it did myself, and she, like many other mothers in the professions, leaves her home as the little fellow goes to school. His hands have been washed, his bowels have moved, his hair has been combed, his breakfast has been eaten by the side of his mother—she has directed it all. He goes forth to the schoolroom and she goes forth to her profession. All through the day she lovingly keeps in mind these children that are growing up. She works the harder, real love entering into everything she does, because she is not merely earning the bread that goes into their mouths, but is forming a character not only for herself but, because of her broadened horizon, is instilling into their little minds the possibilities of their own career, their own opportunity to enter into the world's work as real world workers.
I contend that the mother in a profession has many blessings that the mother who remains at home never has. The mother who remains at home has a viewpoint that is often quite likely, wholly unconsciously, of course, to become small, to become narrow, to become focused upon small details; on the other hand, the mother whose mind and whose heart are so full of the affairs of the office, of the newspaper article she has just written, or the lecture she has just given or is about to give, or the meeting that she is to preside over, is quite likely to become somewhat irritated sometimes if the little fellow doesn't stand quietly to have his hair combed, she is quite likely to "feel rushed;" but under all circumstances, dear reader, whether this mother be a home mother or in a profession, never, never must she allow mental panic to seize her. Ever must we keep in mind that these little ones are just children—children that are still in the developmental stage.
WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME
And now for the home mother. I believe it is necessary and of paramount importance that she get away from her children (if possible) several hours each day; that she provide for them a caretaker who can relieve the children of her or relieve her of the children, whichever way you may look at it, for we are inclined to think that the children often tire of the mother just about as often as the mother tires of the children. I would have the woman who remains at home, whose husband is able to provide outside help for the heavy work of the house, enter into some uplifting neighborhood work, social settlement work, church work, wholesome club work—anything but bridge and whist and gambling games. I would have them bring into the nursery a woman who is cheery, who is capable of teaching games, of entertaining and amusing these little folks under their own roof.
The woman who has graduated from high school, who has a diploma to teach, I would have take a school or, at least, do substitute work. She will be happier—far happier—continuing along the lines for which she has prepared herself, even if all the money she earns be used to pay the help. Some women are especially fitted for the important work of mother and homemaker, and such wives will find for themselves a worthy career in the home and its neighborhood activities. Each woman must find a field of action suited to her own temperament, education, experience, talents, and opportunities.
SELECTING A CARETAKER
For a caretaker, the professional or business woman should not select an ignorant servant girl; that would be a great mistake—a crime—a violation of the law that should govern the training of these little people who have come to us to be reared and cared for and fitted to occupy their place among the world's workers. As a rule, one soul does not possess the qualifications for scrubbing and laundry work and also the firm but gentle ministering qualifications necessary for a successful caretaker. They do not combine as a rule. It has been my experience, as a mother with a profession, and that of many others of my acquaintances, that an art student or a music student makes a splendid caretaker. There are hundreds and hundreds of genteel women, with winning manners and beautiful dispositions, who may be obtained to sew on the buttons, wash the faces, and change the clothes of our darlings while we are carrying forward in the world the great work for which we have fitted ourselves during the long struggles of our teens and early twenties.
The young woman who is brought in to care for the child should be above the usual "servant" class. She must eat in our dining-room, she should be welcome in the living-room or sun parlor, and be treated as a respected member of the family. Her salary is usually not large for she realizes that she is given something in that home—something that money cannot buy.