THE UP-TO-DATE MOTHER
Now this young woman (the caretaker) wants to hold her position, and so she is very anxious to carry out in detail the laws and rules that are laid down by the mother. Mother can keep abreast with the world, mother has time to read periodicals that keep her in touch with the great, wide, pulsating affairs of life. She is able to meet more women worth while, and with her husband attend lectures, musicals, theaters, and other places for intellectual culture.
Anyone of my readers need not look four blocks from her home to find a mother who is run down at the heel, whose dresses are calico, whose hat is five or six years old, whose black silk dress (the only one she ever had) is worn shiny or threadbare, who works and saves every penny that she can that her children may look well; and, even when the husband does invite her to go out with him, he will often be confronted with this remark: "John, I would like to go, but really my clothes are a little bit shabby." The world is just full of such women, with their very hearts being eaten out of them for the want of a beautiful gown, a beautiful hat or a pretty pair of evening shoes, and they might have them every one if they would be willing to allow the duties of the household to be presided over by a woman that cannot do the things the mother can do, while she goes out and accrues a number of dollars each week which will more than provide for the things that her soul desires so that she may go well dressed by the side of her husband in quest of that very necessary intellectual culture and social diversion.
The wife of a prominent judge, in my office just this week, said to me that she believed that most of our social and domestic uneasiness was due to the fact that fathers and mothers and children went out together so seldom. The father goes to his club, the children go to their little gatherings, and mother usually stays at home; although of late, she is beginning to realize the value of the women's clubs.
QUALIFICATIONS OF THE GOVERNESS
The caretaker should not be too old. It is a very great blessing if there is an older sister in the family who can come in and assist with this work, or if there is an aunt. If one is to be selected from the open market, then we suggest a woman in her late teens or early twenties whose heart is full of play, whose face is sunny, and who is young enough to appreciate and like the becomingness of youthful dress. It is needless to say she should be free from tuberculosis and other diseases. She should be trustworthy enough not to administer soothing syrups because the children won't sleep, or to give candy when mother has forbidden her, or to teach the children bad habits of any sort.
It is impossible to exercise too much care in the selection of this substitute mother, and when you do find one it is often wise not to keep her too long. A year or so is plenty long enough for any person to be with our children. It is only necessary for anyone to walk out into the public parks and casually listen to the conversations of many of the "chewing-gum caretakers" to discover with what carelessness some people select caretakers for their children. The language they use is not only ungrammatical but oftentimes both slangy and profane. The flirtations carried on with many of the park policemen and bystanders lead us to feel that many people arrive at the idea that their little folks "will grow up some way." If the caretaker is a student, a young woman of culture, and is kept with the family, she will be found to be more circumspect and dependable. Her gentleman friend, if she has one, should be allowed to come to the home. She does not have to meet him out in the park any more than a sister would have to go away from home to meet a friend; and, to my mind, everything centers around the viewpoint of the mother as she selects this caretaker, for if she is her social equal it puts her in a different place entirely to the well-meaning but ignorant servant girl to whose care is often intrusted the lives of the little people.
HINTS FOR THE CARETAKER
There are a number of hints we wish to bring together in this chapter for the mother to suggest to the caretaker. For instance, here is a group that one author gives us: