‘In this wretched and doleful condition I was, when at a relation’s house, who had providentially returned from Pennsylvania to his native country, I lighted upon R. Barclay’s Apology for the Quakers; by the reading whereof I was so well persuaded of their principles, and by turning my mind inward to the divine gift, (according to their doctrine,) it gave me victory, in a great measure, over our common enemy, banished away my disorderly imaginations, and restored me to my former regularity; I received such satisfaction and comfort to my distressed soul, that thereupon I left the church of England, and joined myself in society with them; and I am the more confirmed in my change, especially where it respects the worship of our Creator; because it is not only the most agreeable to the Scriptures of Truth, but heaven has given us assurance of its approbation thereof, it having been at times, to my own experience, most powerfully attended with the presence of the Most High.
‘I hope none will begrudge me this mercy, because I received it not by their ministry; if they do, I have cause to suspect their charity is not of a Christian latitude, since our blessed Redeemer approved not of that narrowness in his disciples in somewhat a like case.
‘But here to obviate the objection some may make to my change, because of the distress I lay under, and the discomposure I was subject to at times, I would have it remarked, that I read the said Apology beyond my expectation, with more sedateness than usual, and a more quiet composure of mind: so that with the influence of the Almighty, or Providence, or both, I had also the benefit of that distinguishing faculty of man in the change of my opinion. O that I may never forget the Lord’s mercy to my soul, who had compassion on me when I wallowed in my blood, and who said to the dry bones, Live. O that all such as are visited by the chastising hand of their Maker would seriously lay it to heart, and consider their own welfare and salvation; I could wish with all my heart, that such who labour under this anxiety of mind, would take encouragement to hope in the Lord’s mercy through their blessed Redeemer, by his kindness and long forbearance with me. I am a living monument of it now; and I hope I shall be so, while he affords me a being here. If these lines should come to the hands of any that are afflicted and distressed as I was, I have an effectual remedy, through mercy, to prescribe unto them. Turn your minds inward to the grace of God in your own hearts, refrain from your own imaginations, be still, and quietly resign yourselves to his holy will, so you shall find health to your souls, refreshment to your spirits, and the sweet consolation of the Lord in your own bosoms; you shall find your mourning turned to gladness, and your heaviness to joy; this has been my experience of the goodness of the Holy One of Israel, who abhors sin and iniquity; therefore I recommend it to you, and I think this is no mistrusting of the cause, for they are the sick and wounded in spirit, not the whole, that need the physician.
‘As for renouncing the covenant, which I and every Christian ought to be under, of forsaking the devil and all his works, I am so far from entertaining one thought of neglecting that duty, that I think myself wholly obliged to observe it: and if I should affirm, that through the grace of God, and his assistance, (for otherwise I am satisfied I cannot do it,) the observation of it is possible, I can find no reason why it should be false doctrine in a Quaker, more than in a churchman.
‘As for deserting that church and ministry which the Son of God came down from heaven to establish, I am not conscious to myself thereof; for I say, Christ himself, is the head of our church, and, by his Spirit and grace, the ordainer of our ministry.
‘And as to the last query, my ingenious acquaintance is pleased to propose, I do let him know, that my former despair and forlorn condition has been, since my adhering to that reproached people, changed into a sweet enjoyment of the goodness of God. I could not conceal the Lord’s goodness, lest he should withdraw his mercies from me.
‘I had no secular interest to corrupt me in this change. It is apparent to many, I declined it; but as it was peace with God my Maker, and mercy to my soul I wanted; so having found the pearl of great price, among them, I parted with all to purchase it; or rather, I was restored to all, I mean, the enjoyment of the divine goodness, and of myself, by setting a due value upon it.’
From this account it appears, that the writer thereof aimed at nothing in his change of religion, but the quietness of his mind, and the salvation of his soul.
1710-1712.
Now I am to mention, that the queen, in the year 1710, in her speech to the parliament, having again declared that she would maintain the toleration and liberty of conscience, was addressed by many; wherefore the people called Quakers esteemed it their duty to show also their grateful acknowledgment of this favour, which they did by the following address.