Enlarging on these ideas, and more particularly analyzing Niccolo’s objections to the marriage of men advanced in years, Carlo boldly maintains, that it is expedient for a person of this description not only to marry, but also to marry a young woman, whom he may mold like wax to his will. As to sensual indulgences—whilst so many examples are seen of the total abstinence from them which is practised in convents and nunneries, why should any doubt be entertained, that a well-instructed female will cheerfully submit to that restricted enjoyment of them which circumstances may demand from her? As to the little likelihood of an aged parent living to see his offspring settled in the world, Carlo demurs to the fact, and asserts that longevity is fully as likely to follow upon the temperance of mature age as upon the careless dissoluteness of youth. “But granting,” says he, “that the remaining years of an old man are few in number, will he not, nevertheless, derive the greatest pleasure from his children, whom it will be a gratification to him to train to good manners, at a period when they are much more disposed to revere their parent, and to obey him, than they are likely to be when growing strength and self-confidence shall have rendered them more independent of parental controul?”
Fortifying his doctrine by the test of facts, Carlo appeals, in proof of the soundness of the principles which he is maintaining, not only to the domestic history of Cato the Elder and of Cicero, but still more especially to that of Galeazzo Malatesta, who, having married a young wife in the seventy-fourth year of his age, left behind him at his death four sons, who became the most illustrious men of all Italy, and one of whom, Carlo, was no less celebrated for his literary accomplishments than for his prowess in war.—“These illustrious characters,” says he, “were, indeed, virtuous by nature; but they were not a little indebted for the renown which they obtained in their maturer years, to the instructions which they received in their early youth from their father. The wise exhortations of an aged parent have, in my opinion,” continues he, “great efficacy in the right training of children—a greater efficacy, indeed, than if they fell from the lips of persons of unripe years—for it is to advanced age that we look for gravity and experience.” After enlarging on this topic, Carlo draws from his reasonings the conclusion, that both on public and on private grounds, it is expedient that elderly men should quit the state of celibacy, and that they should marry youthful wives. “It is,” he observes, “an unspeakable advantage in life, for a man to have a partner to whom, as to a second self, he may communicate his counsels and his joys, and who, by sympathizing in, may mitigate his sorrows. Nor is it to be doubted,” says he, “that a wife of this description will continue to love her husband as long as he loves her, and as long as he maintains towards her that fidelity which is too often violated by the impetuosity of youthful appetite.” He then proceeds to controvert in their order the other positions of Niccolo, who, however, is by no means converted from his original opinions on the subject matter of the debate; but closes the conference, by charging Carlo with uttering the sentiments which he has propounded merely for the sake of flattering their host, in return for the good dinner which he has given to his friends; and by characteristically professing that he will look to himself, and take care not to suffer by imitating the follies of others.
This dialogue on the question An seni sit uxor ducenda is one of the most ingenious of Poggio’s compositions. It evinces its author’s intimate acquaintance with life and manners; and at the same time, in the lucidness of its arrangement and the dexterity of its argumentation, it exhibits a specimen of no common rhetorical powers. In the course of the conversation between the interlocutors Poggio indulges in the liveliness of fancy; but he never transgresses the bounds of decorum. On the contrary, though he introduces into the discussion some slippery topics, he touches upon them with great delicacy; and it may be stated, greatly to his honour, that, in the character of the advocate of matrimony, he treats the female sex with marked respect, and represents woman not only as gifted with great acuteness of intellect, but also as endowed with dispositions which incline her, as a rational being, to listen with deference to the lessons of wisdom and virtue. To which may be added, that the diction of this dialogue is singularly correct, and that it evinces, on the part of its author, a familiar acquaintance with the phraseology of Cicero.[269]
Poggio’s resolution to correct the irregularity of his conduct, and to enter into the state of lawful wedlock, most certainly merited high commendation. It is to be hoped, however, that he experienced the keenest remorse of self-accusation for his former licentiousness, when he found that the commencement of his reformation was to be signalized by an act of extreme unkindness. In order to prepare the way for his marriage, he was obliged to dismiss a mistress who had borne him twelve sons and two daughters. What distressing embarrassments crowd the train of vice; and how powerfully are the benevolent feelings excited on the side of virtue, when we see the object of licentious passion, after a connexion of many years, in circumstances which seem to imply on her part fidelity to her seducer, at length abandoned by him, and sent forth, perhaps in poverty—certainly in agonizing mental distress—to encounter the taunts of public scorn.[270]
If, however, we may give credit to Poggio’s account of the state of his feelings on his entrance upon his new connexion, his felicity was not interrupted by any painful reflections on the past, or by any uneasy forebodings with respect to the future. In a letter to one of his English friends, Nicholas Bilston, Archdeacon of Winchester, he thus expresses himself on the subject of his marriage.
“Our epistolary intercourse, my dear father, has by my omission been too long suspended. Do not, however, impute my silence to forgetfulness of the obligations which your goodness has conferred upon me; for I can assure you that a sense of your kindness is impressed upon my mind in indelible characters. The fact is, that till lately, no event has occurred in my history of sufficient importance to constitute the subject of a letter. But I have now to announce to you a most important change in my situation—a change, of which I hasten to give you the earliest intelligence, in full confidence that you will participate in my joys. You know that I have been hitherto uncertain what course of life to pursue, and that I have long hesitated whether to adopt the secular or the clerical character. To the ecclesiastical profession, however, I must confess that I never felt any inclination. In this dubious state of mind, I arrived at a period when it was absolutely requisite for me to fix upon some settled plan for the regulation of my future conduct. Determining, therefore, not to spend the remainder of my days in unsocial solitude, I resolved to marry; and though now declining into the vale of years, I have ventured to enter into the matrimonial union with a young lady of great beauty, and possessed of all the accomplishments which are proper for her sex. You will perhaps say, that I ought to have taken this step at an earlier period. I confess it: but, as the old proverb says, ‘better late than never;’ and you must remember that philosophers assure us, that ‘Sera nunquam est ad bonos mores via.’ I might, indeed, have changed my condition many years ago; but in that case I should not have obtained my present spouse, a partner in all respects suited to my manners and disposition, in whose agreeable converse I find a solace for all my anxieties and cares. So richly is she endowed with virtues, that she gratifies my most sanguine wishes. This circumstance is the source of the greatest comfort to me; and I return thanks to God, who, having continually been propitious to me, ‘has loved me even to the end,’ and has bestowed upon me more than I could have wished. Well knowing your regard for me, and duly sensible of the value of your friendship, I have thought it my duty to acquaint you with my present circumstances, and to make you a partaker in my pleasure. Farewell.”
This letter, which bears the date of the sixth of February, 1436, was written in the course of that halcyon period, during the continuance of which the fetters of matrimony are usually entwined with flowers, and unmixed pleasure is supposed to be the almost certain portion of the newly united pair. In the strictness of investigation, therefore, it cannot be admitted as evidence of the happiness which Poggio enjoyed in the married state. Hymeneal transports, however ardent, are proverbially fleeting; and many a matrimonial union which has commenced in affection, has been found productive of disgust. From various detached passages, however, which occur in his future correspondence with his friends, it appears that Poggio was not disappointed in his hopes of conjugal felicity, and that his connexion with Vaggia was a source of comfort to his declining years.
On the eighteenth of April, [A. D. 1436.] Eugenius quitted Florence, and transferred the pontifical court to Bologna, whither he was accompanied by Poggio, who soon after his arrival there, detailed his further experience of the joys of wedded love in the following letter to the cardinal of St. Angelo.