After jumping about and chattering to himself for some little time, he commenced operations. Unfortunately for his owner, he found a bottle of ink, which he let fall, and it broke in pieces, splashing the ink on the deck. The monkey was now in his glory; he seized upon the new red coat and epaulet, and began mopping up the wet, then chattering to himself, jumping about and appearing to feel quite delighted with his performance, particularly when he saw the marks of his hands and feet, stained with black, upon the red uniform. Not contented with his exploits on the coat, he lugged down the pair of smart inexpressibles, that looked so temptingly white, hanging over the chair, and finished the housemaid’s work by wiping up the remainder of the ink with them. This feat having been done, we thought we had seen enough, and went most innocently to give information to the lieutenant of Marines, and his servant, that Jacko was loose in the cabin, and, we were afraid, was after some mischief, for we heard something break, and by peeping through the key-hole, saw he had his master’s coat on the deck, and dragging it about.
Down ran the poor marine officer, calling his servant to bring the key. The moment the door was opened, the first glance showed the havoc committed on the dinner dress. Jacko, perceiving his frolic was over, retreated into his cage, from whence he was dragged to get a good beating. The poor servant was scolded because the monkey had got loose, who very truly said it was tied up safe when he left the cabin. The officer swore, stamped, and raved like a madman. His dress was so completely messed for the day, he could not dine with the captain; and we innocent young rascals stood looking very demure, and condoling with him on his misfortune, all the time laughing in our sleeves at the trick we had played. We had paid off the master and monkey, who between the two had got us sent to the mast-head occasionally for being saucy to the marine officer, because we did not like being bitten, without licking Jacko for it.
A reward was offered to find out who let it loose, that F. might make the person or persons pay the damage; but it was never found out, and on the earliest opportunity the monkey was sent out of the ship, on board a merchant vessel we fell in with, bound to Malta, his master having had quite enough of monkey tricks.
A ship of the line, the Kent (74), Captain Pulteney Malcolm, having been kept in the Bay of Naples to attend the royal family there, in case of their being obliged to go to Palermo, to avoid falling into the hands of the French, the Renown was sent to relieve her. The Kent was ordered home in consequence of being leaky, and very much out of repair. Captain J. C. White wishing to return home, exchanged into the Kent with Captain Pulteney Malcolm; he took several of the midshipmen with him, and myself amongst the number. We remained ten days at Naples, which were employed by the captain in seeing everything worth observation, and he was so kind as to take another youngster and myself with him.
After the above period, we left Naples for the Bay of Salerno, at which place we embarked a large supply of cattle and vegetables for our fleet off Toulon. On joining them, we found our ship very weak, and her timbers, from the looseness of several bolts, working very much, and causing her to make a good deal of water,—in fine weather from six to eight inches per hour, and in bad weather two feet, which kept increasing to nearly four,—until our arrival in England.
After having given the bullocks to the ships, we proceeded to Gibraltar, and from thence to Cadiz, where we took on board a million and sixty thousand dollars. We anchored near a handsome French seventy-four and frigate; the former, called L’Aigle, the name of the other I forget. Whenever we passed near them, some of their crew would abuse us; we told them to come outside, and see how soon we would take the change out of them; but they stood too much in awe of a British seventy-four, although we had such a tempting cargo to urge them to the risk.
At this period, four of our frigates, under Sir Graham Moore, were cruising off Cape St. Vincent to intercept the four Spanish frigates, loaded with treasure, expected home. We spoke our ships off there, and a few days afterwards they fell in with the Spaniards, took three, and the unfortunate fourth blew up in the action with all her crew.
I always did think, and my opinion has never changed, that it was a cruel thing to send only four frigates to detain four others, when by increasing the force by two or three line-of-battle ships, this might have been effected without loss of blood, or honour to the Spaniards. If it was necessary to detain these vessels and treasure from political motives, in order to make the king of Spain declare his equivocal conduct, it would have been humane to have sent such a force as would have put resistance out of the question; for what man, who was not a traitor, could yield without fighting (and with such a valuable cargo on board), to a force, in all appearance, not greater than his own. It was an untoward event. After a long passage, we at length arrived at Spithead, the ship in a very leaky, weak state. Having landed the money, we left Portsmouth the end of October for Chatham, at which place the ship was paid off.
Our old parson was a “rum” subject; after trying all other mess places, he got old Pipes, the boatswain, to take him into his. They agreed very well for a little time; but one unfortunate day, the evil genius of poor old Fritz prevailed, for Pipes coming down rather unexpectedly to his cabin in the fore cock-pit to get a glass of grog, having got wet when the hands were turned up reefing topsails, he found the parson helping himself rather too freely out of his liquor-case. This was a crime Mr. Boatswain could not put up with. A breach immediately ensued, and an instant dismissal from his berth took place, with the exclamation of, “The parson is such a black; I cannot allow him to mess with me any longer.” After this occurrence, the captain interfered, and he again messed in his proper place with the officers in the wardroom. And I recollect one Sunday morning before church-time, the old fellow came into our berth, and with his hand to his stomach, began: “Oh! my dear fellow, I feel so poorly, I do not know what to do, or how I shall get through the service.” “What is the matter, Mr. F.?” I enquired. “Oh! I feel such a pain.” I knew what he wanted, so I went to the locker, took out the rum bottle, and gave a good boatswain’s glass of grog (three parts spirits, and one water). He told me I had saved his life, and that now he could preach very well. “Come, sir,” said I, “take a north-wester to wash the other down,” which he did. The service commenced soon after, and he performed it admirably.
He was a clever, facetious, and kind-hearted person; and I believe it was money matters that drove him, poor man! to the bottle; he died sometime after on shore. He used to tell us boys: “My dear fellows, do as I say, and not as I do.”