Not having been in England for four years, and my brother being encamped on Coxheath, I got permission, previous to the ship being paid off, to go and see him. Nothing would serve me but a ride on horseback. I was dressed out very smart in white visibles—not invisibles, as the ladies call them—although it appears the fashion of the day to show they wear trousers, whose scientific, Oriental name, by-the-bye, is fatimas. To the young ladies I have a pretty little anecdote to relate. I knew a very gallant officer who fell deeply in love with a lady merely from handing her into a carriage. The moment she put her pretty feet upon the carriage steps he was pierced by Cupid’s arrows. He dreamed of them all night; thought of them when he awoke in the morning; he could not drive them from his imagination during the day. The pretty feet again appeared before his fancy when asleep the next night, and the third day found him prostrate before them, acknowledging their beauty, and supplicating that he might call them his own. He was accepted. Were this not an “olla”—which means in Spanish something of all sorts—I should not have ventured to have written the above.
To return to my ride. As I said before, I was in full dress, with cocked hat, long coat, and side-arms, that I might appear in camp in a becoming manner. The landlord at the inn told me he knew sailors liked to ride fast, and promised to give me a quiet blood mare he had in his stables, who would show me the way. She was shortly equipped, and brought out. Upon her back I mounted; but scarcely were we out of the town of Chatham when off she started at full speed, and ran away with me along the turnpike road, to the amusement of some of his Majesty’s liege subjects, and to the terror and dismay of others—up hill, down dale, splashing myself, and every person I met, with mud, for the roads were wet, and it began to pour with rain. The ladies and gentlemen in their carriages as I passed them stared at me with astonishment. Having got to a place, called Kit’s Cot Hill, I ran on board of a man riding upon a donkey, with two sacks of flour, knocking him, donkey and cargo, head over heels; but my steed being pretty nearly blown, I at length stopped her.
The miller was, fortunately, not hurt, but came up in a great passion to attack me. Luckily just at the moment some soldiers, who belonged to the same regiment as my brother, were passing by: they took my part, and, a parley ensuing, I explained how the untoward event had happened, and it ended in a laugh. Not far from this was a small inn, where I put up my flyaway, having had enough riding for one day, hired a gig, and at last got safe to the regiment without any broken bones.
Shortly after this the ship was paid off, and I joined the Barfleur (98), having had six weeks’ leave to see my friends and relate the wonders of my four years’ voyage in foreign parts.
Throughout the four months I passed in the Barfleur we were attached to the channel fleet.
In May, 1805, I removed to the Neptune (98 guns), Captain T. F. Fremantle, a clever, brave, and smart officer, who sent me home to pass my examination at Somerset House, in August, which I did, before old Captain Sir Alexander Snap Hammond, whose character for turning mids back frightened me not a little. The one examined before me not having been sent, as from Oxford or Cambridge, to rusticate in green fields and sylvan groves, but condemned to study six months longer in a mid’s berth on the briny element in order to finish his nautical education, and eat peas-pudding, burgoo and molasses, salt-junk, lobscouse, sea-pie, and study Hamilton Moore. However, the passing captains, seeing I was alarmed on first entering, civilly desired me to be seated a few minutes and take courage. Having waited a short time, and got rather better of some odd qualms and palpitations which the unfortunate candidate turned back before me had created, I was ordered to find the time of high-water at Plymouth, work an azimuth amplitude, double altitude, bearings and distances, &c., which being performed, I was desired to stand up, and consider myself on the quarter-deck of a man-of-war at Spithead—“unmoor”—“get underway”—“stand out to sea”—“make and shorten sail”—“reef”—“return into port”—“unrig the foremast and bowsprit, and rig them again.” I got into a scrape after reefing for not overhauling the reef tackles when hoisting the sails. However, they passed me, and desired me to come again the next day to receive my passing certificate. I made the captains the best bow I could, and, without staying to look behind me, bolted out of the room, and was surrounded in a moment by other poor fellows, who were anxiously waiting their turn to be called in for examination, who asked what questions had been put to me, and the answers I made, &c.
This important event over, I spent a few days of September with my friends; then repaired to Plymouth, and was ordered a passage to join the Neptune (98), off Cadiz, in the Belleisle (74), one of the very last ships that sailed to join the fleet of Lord Nelson.
We had a very quick run out, and ten days before the ever-memorable and glorious 21st of October, 1805, I rejoined my ship.