"Now if I once hear a man make a prayer, that's enough said. After that, Gabriel couldn't make me believe he was a sinner. If his face is of an orthodox length, and his creed is dyed in the wool, I consider him a prepared subject for the undertaker. If his toes are on an evangelical platform, I am morally certain his eyes never will go on a 'Tom Fool's errand.' If he has a proper reverence for a church-steeple, I stake my life on it, his conduct will be perpendicular. I should be perfectly willing to pin my faith on his sleeve till the final consummation of all things. Yes, I've the most unswerving, indestructible, undying confidence in any man who owns a copy of Watts' Psalms and Hymns. Such a man never trips, or if he does, you never catch him at it!"
LV.
THE MISTAKE OF A LIFE-TIME.
In a very different spirit the following sketch was written:—
"A lover's quarrel! A few hasty words, a formal parting between two hearts, that neither time nor distance could ever disunite; then—a lifetime of misery!
"Edith May stood before me in her bridal dress. The world was to be made to believe she was happy and heart-whole. I knew better. I knew that no woman who had once loved Gilbert Ainslie could ever forget him; least of all such a heart as Edith's. She was pale as a snow-wreath; and bent her head as gracefully as a water lily, in recognition of her numerous friends and admirers.
"'What a sacrifice,' the latter muttered, between their set teeth! 'What a sacrifice,' my heart echoed back!
"Mr. Jefferson Jones was an ossified old bachelor. He had but one idea in his head, and that was, how to make money. There was only one thing he understood equally well, and that was, how to keep it. He was angular, prim, cold and precise; mean, grovelling, contemptible and cunning.
"And Edith! Our peerless Edith, whose lovers were 'legion;' Edith, with her passionate heart, her beauty, grace, taste and refinement; Edith to vow 'love and honor' to such a soulless block! It made me shudder to think of it! I felt as though his very gaze was profanation.
"Well, the wedding was over; and she was duly installed mistress of Jefferson House. She had fine dresses, fine furniture, a fine equipage, and the stupidest possible encumbrance, in the shape of a husband.
"Mr. Jefferson Jones was very proud of his bride; firstly, because she added to his importance, secondly, because he plumed himself not a little in bearing off so a dainty a prize. It gave him a malicious pleasure to meet her old admirers, with the graceful Edith upon his arm. Of course she preferred him to them all; else, why did she marry him?