Marriage then may be regarded as the natural condition of every mature man and woman. And, because it is natural to marry, there is all the more reason why it should be carefully studied, and why the human race should learn to form marriages in accordance with Natural Law.
When we study Matrimony in the light of Science, we find that it is surrounded and governed by Natural Laws, as inevitable in their consequences as the law of gravitation, and that the marriage relation is happy or unhappy as these laws have been obeyed or broken.
To constitute a perfect marriage, three great objects must be attained. The absence of any one of these from the marriage will cause its ignominious failure. There must be
First.—Such physiological conditions as will insure the improvement of offspring and the perpetuation of the race, for the accomplishment of which object, marriage is primarily established.
Second.—Amiable Companionship and Congenial Association. The married pair must live together, and their mutual interests, as well as the interests of society, demand that the association be pleasant.
Third.—Mutual helpfulness in financial affairs and the maintainance of the establishment.
It is absolutely necessary that all three of these elements should combine to form the perfect marriage. Many good people imagine that if they can only live together in an amiable way, and have no serious quarrels, that they have reached the beau ideal of happiness. There are others who look only to the financial welfare of the union, and if the conditions seem favorable to the production of wealth, they approve of the marriage; but the fact remains that both of these conditions may be present and the marriage still be most unhappy.
When I was lecturing in the State of Indiana, some years ago, I had occasion to discuss this subject with the Mayor of a certain city, who informed me, with great glee, that he had “sold out” a Phrenologist, as he expressed it, on the occasion of his marriage. Said he, “My wife and I were examined the day before we married, by an eminent Phrenologist, who pronounced us totally unfitted for each other, and strongly urged us not to marry. Now, sir, I have lived with that good woman for forty years, and we’ve never had a quarrel, and we’ve made a good living into the bargain.”
I did not want to hurt the old man’s feelings, and I felt that if he could get any comfort out of that marriage, I would be the last one to take it from him, so I kept silent; but when I looked over his family, and I counted five children that were partially idiotic, I thought that the Phrenologist had decidedly the best of the argument.
And suppose you do live with a good woman for forty years and never have a quarrel, is that anything to your credit? Certainly not. The man who couldn’t live with a good woman for forty years, and not insult her, ought to be ridden out of town on a rail. And the woman who can’t live with a good man, the same length of time, without getting her name on the police court records for smashing a frying-pan over his head, is not fit to move in good society.