A great many people marry because it is fashionable. They never stop to reason about it; they simply observe that nearly everybody else marries, and consequently they jump to the conclusion that it is the proper thing to do. Like most devotees of fashion in other things, they find it a very unprofitable investment.
A great many men marry, because they want a servant. That’s unprofitable also. Young man, you can hire your washing and ironing done by a Chinaman, and live in a first-class boarding house with much less expense. It don’t pay.
Some women marry because they want a home, and they find—a penitentiary. I visited a state prison a few days ago, and I found inside the walls a lot of convicts that were having a much better time than some married people of my acquaintance.
A large number of men and women marry for money. That don’t pay either in the long run. Young man, don’t marry a hundred thousand dollars with a girl attached, because some of these days you’ll find that the money has taken wings and flown away, and you’ll have a girl on your hands, and you won’t know what to do with her. Right here, I want to say to my friends who are disposed to look upon money as the most valuable of all things, that if you marry according to my instructions you will marry the conditions which produce money. To marry for money, or to marry a person who possesses a fortune for no other reason, is a monstrous wrong, sure to be punished.
Some refined people marry for beauty. The motive is correct as far as it goes, but in practice we find few people competent to judge of beauty, or to use it correctly. The result is, that most people make the mistake of marrying a fragment of beauty only, or they marry beauty which is not of the kind or quality available in their cases. A man falls in love with a pretty hand, a shapely figure, a handsome mouth, or a pair of beautiful eyes, and he finds upon the more intimate acquaintance of marriage that the tout ensemble is far from being what he desired in a wife.
A young lady becomes enamoured of a magnificent specimen of physical manhood, but she finds to her sorrow that, notwithstanding his beauty, his whole character, in fact, is totally inharmonious with her own.
Some young ladies marry in a hurry, because they imagine that good husbands are going to be scarce in the future, and they live to wonder what a supply the market affords in later years. Young ladies, take my advice and be deliberate. There are going to be hundreds of good men after you are all grandmothers.
The real reason why people marry, is because it is natural to do so. It is in accordance with a law of nature. To understand this fully we must study natural history for a few moments. As we observe the various orders of plants and animals, we find that in the lower forms of life, in vegetable or animal, the male and female principles are embodied in one individual; and that individual, being entirely capable of reproducing the species to which he belongs, stands as a perfect representative of that kind or species. We observe, however, that in the higher orders of plants and animals, the male and female principles are separated—are embodied in two separate individuals, and it requires the union of two of these individuals of different sex to reproduce the species, and it takes the two individuals, the male and female, to furnish us with a complete representation of that species.
Man is created in two parts, male and female, man and woman, and it requires the union of these two to reproduce the race, and to furnish us with the perfect specimen of the unit of humanity. The man or woman, considered separately, do not furnish us this complete ideal of humanity, but on the contrary each is incomplete without the other.
The conclusion which I wish you to draw from this argument is: that the old bachelor is only half of a man, which is a correct way of expressing his status in society. Why, my dear sir, you might as well expect to pull across the Atlantic Ocean in a water-logged skiff, with only one oar, and make a successful voyage of it, as to pull across the ocean of life without the help of a good woman. And I have my suspicions of the morals, as well as my contempt for the taste of a man, who can wander through this country and see as many bright eyes, ruby lips, rosy cheeks, and shapely figures, as one may encounter any day in the week, and who does not marry.