Nicholas knit his brows, and said with a quick and stern voice:
"What I have done I shall never deny: neither here nor there above--if any above or below there be. I want nobody to call my deeds by pretty names, neither before they are executed nor after. What I want is a friend; one to whom I could confide my secret thoughts without kneeling as before a priest--or confessing as to a judge: one that will rush with me like a hurricane into life, till we are both in our graves; or one that refusing to do this, and standing himself upright, would yet allow the poor guilty outcast to attach himself to his support, and sometimes to repose his weary head upon a human heart."
Bertram stared at him; which the other observed, and said smilingly:
"You wonder at my pathos: but you must recollect that I told you I had once been amongst players."
"Speak frankly--what is it you wish of me?"
"This I wish: will you either run joint hazard with me--and try your fortunes in this country;--or will you take your own course, but now and then permit me, when my heart is crazed by passion, by solitude, and unparticipated anguish,--to lighten it by your society?"
"Once for all I declare to you, with respect to your first proposal, that I will enter into no unlawful connexions."
"Be it so: that word is enough. You refuse to become an adventurer like myself? I ask not for your reasons; your will in such a case is law enough. But then can you, in the other sense, be my friend?"
"Rash man! whence is it that you derive such boundless confidence in me?"
Nicholas stepped up to the young man nearer than before--looked him keenly but kindly in the eyes--as if seeking to revive some remembrance in him; then pressed his hand, and said--