An Italian Parson, one Day invited to Dinner Il Piovano Arlotto, with many other Parsons; and having a mind to shew his Wit, took these aside and told them, Gentlemen, ’tis my opinion that we should make our selves merry to Day with Piovano, who, you know, sets up for a jester, and drolls upon every Body; Being my Clark lies Sick, and that I no Body to wait on us, I will propose to draw Cuts, to see which of us shall go to the Cellar to draw the Wine, and wait on the Rest whilst they are at Dinner: And I will contrive it so, that it shall fall to Piovano’s Lot; which being thus concluded amongst them, was put in Execution accordingly. Piovano smoak’d the Plot, and resolv’d to make his Host Repent it. Down he goes to the Cellar to fill the Bottles, whilst the others fell to, and being come up again with the Bottles, You see, Gentlemen, said he, How I have perform’d what I had to do; let’s now draw Cuts to see which of us shall go down into the Cellar to stop the Hogs-heads I left running. Now the Landlord talk’d no more of casting Lots, and knowing Piovano to be a Man that would as soon do it, as say it, leaves presently his Dinner, and runs to the Cellar, where he finds his Vessels running, and part of his Wine spilt; which as he afterwards expostulated with Piovano, You have no Reason to Complain of me, answer’d he, since I have punctually satisfied the Conditions of the Play, which indeed obliged me to draw the Wine and fill the Bottles, but not to stop the Vessels of a Host who entertains his Guests so scurvily.
150
Un Curé Italien invita un jour à diner il Piovano Arlotto avec plusieurs autres Curez; & voulant faire le plaisant, il tira ceux-ci à part & leur dit: Messieurs, je suis d’avis que nous nous divertissions aujourd’huy aux Dépens de Piovano, qui comme vous savez, fait le bon Compagnon, & se moque de tout le Monde; Comme mon Clerc est malade, & que je n’ai personne pour nous servir, j’ai dessein de vous proposer de tirer à la courte Paille, pour voir lequel de nous ira à la Cave tirer le vin, & servir les autres pendant qu’ils dineront, & je ferai en sorte que le sort tombera sur Piovano, ce qui ayant été conclu entr’eux, fut executé. Piovano s’apperceut du complot, & resolut d’en faire repentir son Hôte; il s’en va à la Cave remplir les Bouteilles pendant que les autres commençoient à diner, & étant remonté avec les Bouteilles, Vouz voyez, Messieurs, leur dit-il, comme j’ai fait ce que le sort m’a ordonné; tirons presentement à la courte paille pour voir lequel de nous descendra à la Cave pour refermer les muids que j’ai laissez ouverts. Alors le Maitre de la Maison ne parla plus de tirer au sort, & connoissant Piovano, pour être homme à l’avoir fait comme il le disoit, il quitta promtement son Diner, & courut à la Cave où il trouva ses Muids ouverts, & une partie de son vin perdu; dont il fit ensuite de fort grandes Plaintes à Piovano. Vous n’avez pas raison de vous plaindre de Moy, lui repondit il, puisque j’ay satisfait ponctuellement au jeu, qui m’avoit bien ordonné d’aller tirer le vin, & de remplir les Bouteilles, Mais non pas de refermer les Muids d’un Hôte qui fait si mal les honneurs de sa Maison.
151
A Courtier playing at Picket in a Gaming Ordinary, and finding by the Cards he took in, that he had discarded amiss, I am a downright Goussaut, cry’d he. Now Goussaut was the Name of a President, who was none of the greatest Wits of his Time; but who hapned to be there behind the Gamester, unperceived by him. This President nettled to hear himself quoted upon such an Occasion, told him, He was a Coxcomb: You say right, reply’d the Gamester, that’s it I meant.
151
Un Courtisan joüant au Piquet dans une Academie, & ayant reconnu par les Cartes qui lui rentroient, qu’il avoit mal écarté, il s’écria, je suis un franc Goussaut; c’étoit le nom d’un President, qui ne passoit pas pour être des plus êclairez de son Tems, mais qui se trouva pour lors par hazard derriere le joüeur qui ne l’avoit pas aperceu. Ce President, se sentant offensé d’être cítè en cette occasion, lui dit, qu’il ètoit un sot: Vous avez raison, lui rèpondit le joüeur, c’est cela mêmes que je voulois dire.
152 Marriage is Sometimes a Cure for Love.
CLitander having seen by chance Celimene, stood both surprised and charm’d with her Beauty. However because she had but a very mean Fortune, and that he was Master of a vast Estate, he reflected upon an Engagement which he found no less strong, than Sudden. He had quite lost his Repose; he felt himself in continual agitation, and feared lest a Passion, so very violent in its first rise, should prompt him at last to gratify his Heart at the Expence of his Fortune. In order to banish so dangerous a Tenderness from his Heart, he went to serve a Campaign in Flanders, but came back deeper in Love than he was at his Departure. Then accusing his own Weakness, he made a second attempt and resolv’d to travel into Italy, but the Diversions of Rome, and the Carnaval of Venice, proved as useless as the Siege of Namur. Clitander return’d more ardent and passionate than ever, and as his Friend Philantes came to visit him, Dear Philantes, said he, I lead a lingring wretched Life; I cannot forget Celimene, I fancy her always present to my view with all her Charms. At last, added he, at last I must marry her, to cease to love her. He did so, and a Months Marriage chang’d his violent and boysterous Love into a gentle and quiet Friendship.
152 Le Mariage est quelquefois un Remede contre l’Amour.