PARODIES
OF THE WORKS OF
ENGLISH & AMERICAN AUTHORS,

COLLECTED AND ANNOTATED BY

WALTER HAMILTON,

Fellow of the Royal Geographical and Royal Historical Societies;
Author of "A History of National Anthems and Patriotic Songs," "A Memoir of George Cruikshank;"
"The Poets Laureate of England;" "The Æsthetic Movement in England," etc.

"We maintain that, far from converting virtue into a parodox, and degrading truth by ridicule, PARODY will only strike at what is chimerical and false; it is not a piece of buffoonery so much as a critical exposition. What do we parody but the absurdities of writers, who frequently make their heroes act against nature, common-sense, and truth? After all, it is the public, not we, who are the authors of these PARODIES."
D'ISRAELI'S Curiosities of Literature.

VOLUME I,
CONTAINING PARODIES OF THE POEMS OF
ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON,
HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW,
BRET HARTE, THOMAS HOOD,
AND THE
REVEREND C. WOLFE.

REEVES & TURNER, 196, STRAND, LONDON, W.C.

1884.

"Le sujet que l'on entreprend de parodier doit toujours être un ouvrage connu, célèbre, estimé. La critique d'une pièce médiocre ne peut jamais devenir intéressante, ni piquer la curiosité. Il faut que l'imitation soit fidèle, que les plaisantéries naissent du fond des choses, et paraissent s'être présentées d'elles-mêmes, sans avoir coûté aucune peine."

Mémoire sur l'origine de la Parodie, etc. Par M. l' Abbé Sallier, 1733.

"It was because Homer was the most popular poet, that he was most susceptible of the playful honours of the Greek parodist; unless the prototype is familiar to us, a parody is nothing!"
ISAAC D'ISRAELI.

THOBURN & CO., St. Bride's Steam Press, 136, Salisbury Square, Fleet Street, London, E.C.

PREFACE.

When this Collection was originally projected, it seemed so unlikely to receive much support from the general public that it was intended to publish a few only of the best Parodies of each author.

After the issue of the first few numbers, however, it became evident that "a hit—a palpable hit—" had been made, the sale rapidly increased, and subscribers not only expressed their desire that the collection should be made as nearly complete as possible, but by the loans of scarce books, and copies of Parodies, helped to make it so.

This involved an alteration in the original arrangement, and as it would have been monotonous to fill a whole number of sixteen pages with parodies of one short poem, such as those on "Excelsior," or Wolfe's Ode, it became necessary to spread them over several numbers. In the Index, which has been carefully compiled, references will be found, under the titles of the original Poems, to all the parodies mentioned. In all cases, where it has been possible to do so, full titles and descriptions of the works quoted from, have been given; any omission to do this has been unintentional, and will be at once rectified on the necessary information being supplied.

To the following gentlemen I am much indebted for assistance in the formation of this collection, either by granting permission to quote from their works, or by their original contributions:—Messrs. Lewis Carroll (author of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"), G. P. Beckley, James Gordon, John Lane, J. W. Morris, Walter Parke (author of "The Lays of the Saintly"), H. Cholmondeley Pennell (author of "Puck on Pegasus"), Major-General Rigaud, Edward Simpson, G. R. Sims, Basil H. Soulsby, Edward Walford, M.A. (Editor of "The Antiquarian Magazine"), J. W. Gleeson White, W. H. K. Wright, Public Library, Plymouth, and John Whyte, Public Library, Inverness. A great deal of bibliographical information was sent me by my late lamented friend, the learned and genial Mr. William Bates, Editor of "The Maclise Portrait Gallery;" his brother, Mr. A. H. Bates; the Rev. T. W. Carson, of Dublin; and Miss Orton, have also given me valuable assistance.

In a few cases where parodies are to be found in easily accessible works, extracts only have been quoted, or references given; but it is intended in future, wherever permission can be obtained, to give each parody in full, as they are found to be useful for public entertainments, and recitations. When the older masters of our Literature are reached, a great deal of curious and amusing information will be given, and it is intended to conclude with a complete bibliographical account of PARODY, with extracts and translations from all the principal works on the topic. Whilst arranging the present volume, I have been gathering materials for those to come, which will illustrate the works of those old writers whose names are familiar in our mouths as household words. Much that is not only quaint and amusing will thus be collected, whilst many illustrations of our literature, both in prose and verse, which are valuable to the student, will for the first time be methodically arranged, annotated, and published in a cheap and accessible form.

WALTER HAMILTON.

64, BROMFELDE ROAD, CLAPHAM, LONDON, S.W.
December, 1884.

INDEX.

The authors of the original poems are arranged in alphabetical order; the titles of the original poems are printed in small capitals, followed by the Parodies.

PARODIES
OF
THE WORKS OF
ENGLISH & AMERICAN AUTHORS,

COLLECTED AND ARRANGED BY
WALTER HAMILTON,

Fellow of the Royal Geographical and Royal Historical Societies;
Author of "The Æsthetic Movement in England," "The Poets Laureate of England,"
"A Memoir of George Cruikshank," etc.

INTRODUCTION.

I HAVE, for many years past, been collecting Parodies of the works of the most celebrated British and American Authors. This I have done, not because I entirely approve of the custom of turning high-class work into ridicule, but because many of the parodies are in themselves works of considerable literary merit. Moreover, as "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," so does a parody show that its original has acquired a certain celebrity, for no author would waste his time, or his talent, in composing a burlesque of an unknown, or obscure work.

Numerous articles on parodies are to be found scattered up and down in odd corners of old magazines and reviews, a few small books have been written on the topic; but, until now, no attempt has been made to give, in a connected form, a history of parody with examples and explanatory notes.

This, then, is what I propose to do in the following articles, and those who desire to possess a complete set of parodies on any favourite author, would do well to preserve these papers for future reference.

PARODY is a form of composition of a somewhat ungracious description, as it owes its very existence to the work it caricatures; but it has some beneficial results in drawing our attention to the defects of some authors, whose stilted language and grandiloquent phrases have veiled their poverty of ideas, their sham sentiment, and their mawkish affectations.

The first attribute of a parody is that it should present a sharp contrast to the original either in subject, or treatment of the subject; that if the original subject should be some lofty theme, the parody may reduce it to a prosaic matter-of-fact narrative. If, on the other hand, the topic selected be one of every day life, it may be made exceedingly amusing if described in high-flown mock heroic diction. If the original errs in sentimental affectation, so much the better for the parodist. Thus many of Tom Moore's best known songs are mere windy platitudes in very musical verse, which afford excellent and legitimate materials for ridicule. The nearer the original diction is preserved, and the fewer the alterations needed to produce a totally opposite meaning or ridiculous contrast, the more complete is the antithesis, the more striking is the parody; take for instance Pope's well-known lines:—

"Here shall the Spring its earliest sweets bestow,

Here the first roses of the year shall blow,"

which, by the alteration of two words only, were thus applied by Miss Katherine Fanshawe to the Regent's Park when it was first opened to the public:—

"Here shall the Spring its earliest coughs bestow,

Here the first noses of the year shall blow."

In this happy parody we have that "union of remote ideas," which is said, and said truly, to constitute the essence of wit. Even the most serious and religious works have been parodied, and by authors of the highest position. Thus Luther mimicked the language of the Bible, and both Cavaliers and Puritans railed at each other in Scriptural phraseology. The Church services and Litanies of both the Catholic, and Protestant Churches, have served in turn as originals for many bitter satires and lampoons, directed at one time against the Church and the priests, at another time in equally bitter invective against their opponents.

To undertake the composition of parodies, as the word is generally comprehended—that is, to make a close imitation of some particular poem, though it should be characteristic of the author—would be at times rather a flat business. Even the Brothers Smith in "Rejected Addresses," and Bon Gaultier in his "Ballads," admirable as they were, stuck almost too closely to their selected models; and Phœbe Carey, who has written some of the best American parodies, did the same thing. It is an evidence of a poet's distinct individuality, when he can be amusingly imitated. We can only make those the object of our imitations whose manner, or dialect, stamps itself so deeply into our minds that a new cast can be taken. But how could one imitate Robert Pollok's "Course of Time," or Young's "Night Thoughts," or Blair's "Grave," or any other of those masses of words, which are too ponderous for poetry, and much too respectable for absurdity! Either extreme will do for a parody, excellence or imbecility; but the original must at least have a distinct, pronounced character.

Certain well known poems are so frequently selected as models for parodies that it will only be possible to select a few from the best of them; to re-publish every parody that has appeared on Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Brigade," E. A. Poe's "The Raven," Hamlet's Soliloquy, or Longfellow's "Excelsior," would be a tedious, and almost endless task.

Prose parodies, though less numerous than those in verse, are often far more amusing, and it will be found that Dr. Johnson's ponderous sentences, Carlyle's rugged eloquence, and Dickens' playful humour and tender pathos, lend themselves admirably to parody.

The first portion of this work will be devoted to the parodies themselves, accompanied by short notes sufficient to explain such allusions as may, in time, appear obscure; the second will contain a full bibliographical account of all the principal collections of Parodies and Works on the subject, such as the "Probationary Odes," Hone's Trials, the "Rejected Addresses," and the late M. Octave Delepierre's Essai sur la Parodie. The latter work, which was published by Trübner & Co. in 1870, gave an account of old Greek and Roman, and of modern French and English Parodies. I had the pleasure of supplying M. Delepierre with the materials for his chapter on English Parodies, but, owing to the limited space at his command, he was only able to quote a verse or two of the best parody of each description. My aim will be to give each parody intact, except in the few cases where I have been unable to obtain the author's permission to do so.

WALTER HAMILTON.

Alfred Tennyson.

Poet Laureate.

ALFRED TENNYSON, the third of seven brothers, was born August 5th, 1809, at Somersby, a small village near Horncastle, in Lincolnshire. His father, Dr. George Clayton Tennyson, was the rector of this parish, he was a man remarkable for his strength, stature, and varied attainments as poet, painter, musician and linguist. In 1827, Alfred Tennyson, with his elder brother Charles, both then being scholars at the Louth Grammar school, published a small volume entitled "Poems by Two Brothers." Shortly afterwards, these two brothers removed to Trinity College, Cambridge, and in 1829, Alfred Tennyson obtained the Chancellor's Gold Medal for his poem on "Timbuctoo." His subsequent poetical works rapidly attracted attention, and, on the death of William Wordsworth, he was created Poet Laureate, the Warrant being dated the 19th November, 1850. As a poet he has achieved almost the highest fame, but in his numerous efforts as a dramatist he has been less successful.

For the consideration of the Parodies of Tennyson's poems, they may conveniently be divided into three periods, namely, his early Poems, poems in connection with his appointment in 1850 to the office of Poet Laureate, and Poems since that date. Although Tennyson has suppressed many of his early works, yet he occasionally furbishes up, and re-issues as a new poem some of his youthful compositions.

Fastidious as he is known to be in his selection of what he thus re-publishes, it is still a matter of some surprise that he should have entirely suppressed his prize poem Timbuctoo, which would always be of interest as a specimen of his early work, and is, besides, far removed above the average of Prize Poems.

The poems were sent in for competition in the month of April, 1829; and on June 12, 1829, the Cambridge Chronicle recorded that "On Saturday last, the Chancellor's Gold Medal for the best English poem by a resident undergraduate was adjudged to Alfred Tennyson, of Trinity College." Shortly afterwards the poem was published, and was favourably reviewed in The Athenæum, which speaking of Prize poems generally, stated, "These productions have often been ingenious and elegant, but we have never before seen one of them which indicated really first-rate poetical genius, and which would have done honour to any man that ever wrote. Such, we do not hesitate to affirm, is the little work before us."

W. M. Thackeray was at Cambridge at the same time as Tennyson, and early in 1829 he commenced the publication of a small paper entitled "THE SNOB, a Literary and Scientific Journal, not conducted by members of the University." This was published by W. H. Smith, of Rose Crescent, Cambridge, and ran for eleven weeks: its contents were humorous sketches in prose and verse, and the most remarkable paper amongst them is the following droll poem on Timbuctoo, which appeared on the 30th April, 1829, and has most unaccountably been omitted from recent editions of Thackeray's works:—

To the Editor of the "SNOB."

SIR,—Though your name be Snob, I trust you will not refuse this tiny "Poem of a Gownsman," which was unluckily not finished on the day appointed for delivery of the several copies of verses on Timbuctoo. I thought, Sir, it would be a pity that such a poem should be lost to the world; and conceiving "THE SNOB" to be the most widely circulated periodical in Europe, I have taken the liberty of submitting it for insertion or approbation.—I am, Sir, yours, &c., &c.

TIMBUCTOO.—PART I.

The Situation.

In Africa (a quarter of the world),

Men's skins are black, their hair is crisp and curl'd,

And somewhere there, unknown to public view,

A mighty city lies, called Timbuctoo.

The Natural History.

5

There stalks the tiger,—there the lion roars,

Who sometimes eats the luckless blackamoors;

All that he leaves of them the monster throws

To jackals, vultures, dogs, cats, kites and crows;

His hunger thus the forest monster gluts,

And then lies down 'neath trees called cocoa-nuts.

The lion hunt.

Quick issue out, with musket, torch, and brand,

The sturdy blackamoors, a dusky band!

The beast is found—pop goes the musketoons—

The lion falls covered with horrid wounds.

Their lives at home.

15

At home their lives in pleasure always flow,

But many have a different lot to know!

Abroad.

They're often caught and sold as slaves, alas!

Reflections on the foregoing.

Thus men from highest joy to sorrow pass,

Yet though thy monarch and thy nobles boil

Rack and molasses in Jamaica's isle;

Desolate Africa! thou art lovely yet!!

One heart yet beats which ne'er thee shall forget.

What though thy maidens are a blackish brown,

Does virtue dwell in whiter breasts alone?

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no!

It shall not, must not, cannot, e'er be so.

The day shall come when Albion's self shall feel

Stern Afric's wrath, and writhe 'neath Afric's steel.

I see her tribes the hill of glory mount,

And sell their sugars on their own account;

While round her throne the prostrate nations come,

Sue for her rice, and barter for her rum!

NOTES.—Lines 1 and 2.—See Guthrie's Geography. The site of Timbuctoo is doubtful; the author has neatly expressed this in the poem, at the same time giving us some slight hints relative to its situation.

Line 5.—So Horace: leonum arida nutrix.

Line 13.—"Pop goes the musketoons." A learned friend suggested "Bang" as a stronger expression, but as African gunpowder is notoriously bad, the author thought "Pop" the better word.

Lines 15-18.—A concise but affecting description is here given of the domestic habits of the people. The infamous manner in which they are entrapped and sold as slaves is described, and the whole ends with an appropriate moral sentiment. The enthusiasm the author feels is beautifully expressed in lines 25 and 26.

Although this poem is not actually a parody of Tennyson's Timbuctoo, it is a clever burlesque of Prize poems in general, and derives interest as being one of Thackeray's earliest writings.

The first independent volume of poems which Tennyson published in 1830, contained Mariana, The Ballad of Oriana, Adeline, Lilian, The Poet, The Merman, and the Mermaid, all of which are so well known that the following parodies require no introduction:—

ORIANA.

A Tennyson-cum-Albery Ballad.

I went to see thee at the Globe,

Oriana!

I tried thy mystery to probe,

Oriana!

But Oh! long talk, bare limbs, rich robe,

Gems decking hand or pendant lobe,

Oriana!

Would tire the patience out of Job,

Oriana!

I saw the lime-light shadows flinging,

Oriana!

I saw black boys, a mattress bringing,

Oriana!

I saw thee to forlorn hope clinging,

I heard the bells of faërie ringing,

Oriana;

And (out of tune) a chorus singing,

Oriana!

I saw a high-priest sage and hoary,

Oriana;

"Friend WAGGLES" struggling with a story,

Oriana.

A youth, in managerial glory,

Striving in vain, tho' con amore,

Oriana,

As (save the mark!) primo tenore,

Oriana,

I came! I saw! I mark'd each word,

Oriana!

Ah, had my visit been deferr'd,

Oriana,

Some better things I might have heard;

But judging from what then occurr'd,

Oriana,

You seem'd a trifle too absurd,

Oriana.

From Fun, February 26th, 1873.

"Oriana," a romantic legend in three acts, by James Albery, music by F. Clay, was first performed at the Globe Theatre, on Saturday, February 15th, 1873. The lessee and manager, Mr. H. J. Montague, performed the part of King Raymond, that of Oriana being represented by Miss Rose Massey. The plot was founded on a fairy tale, slightly resembling Mr. Gilbert's "Palace of Truth," but, beyond the name, the play had nothing in common with Tennyson's poem of "Oriana."

MARIANA.

(At the Railway Station.)

Her parcels, tied with many a knot,

Were thickly labelled, one and all;

And sitting down beside the lot,

She waited for the train to call.

The waiting-room looked sad and strange—

Closed was the booking-office latch!

She watched the sleepy porter scratch

His head, or whistle as a change;

She only said, "The night is dreary—

It cometh not," she said;

She said, "I am aweary, aweary—

I would I were in bed."

She sought the grim refreshment stall—

The saucy barmaid long had slept;

O'er biscuit, bun, and sandwich small

The shining beetles slowly crept.

Hard by a signal post alway

Shot coloured beams into the dark.

She called the porter to remark,

In tones the opposite of gay:

"The hour is late, the night is dreary—

It cometh not," she said;

Then mentally: "The man is beery—

I would I were in bed."

About the middle of the night

She heard the shrill steam-whistle blow,

And saw the signals gleaming bright;

And from dark pens the oxen's low

Came to her; but she watched with pain

A train with many a cattle van

Sweep past her, and the signal man

Reversed his lamps, and snoozed again.

She only said, "The night is dreary—

It cometh not," she said;

She said, "I am aweary, aweary,

Of lamps, green, white, and red!"

The tired officials kept aloof,

The telegraphic wires did sound

Their notes Æolian on the roof,

And goods trains shunting did confound

Her sense; yet still she waited on,

Until the porter came in sight—

"There is no other train to-night;

The next will stop at early dawn."

She only said, "I am aweary;

It seems to me," she said,

"Your tables, like yourself, are beery—

Go find me now a bed."

THE WEDDING DRESS.

In picturesque confusion lies

Her scattered finery on the floor,

And here and there her handmaid flies

With parcels to increase the store.

But dolefully she paced the room,

Although it was her wedding morn,

And often spoke in tones of scorn,

And brow of ever-deepening gloom.

She only said, "The morn is dreary;"

"It cometh not," she said.

She said, "The milliner is weary,

Or stayed too late in bed."

She hears the sound of pipe and drum,

And from the window looketh she:

Nodding their heads before her come

The merry Teuton minstrelsy,

Who wait to play "The Wedding March."

A member of the "force" stalks by,

And little urchins mocking cry,

"Oh, ain't he swallowed lots o' starch?"

She laughed not, for she heard a chime:

"Eleven o'clock!" she said.

"I wonder if 'twill be in time?

I would that I were wed."

How swiftly now the minutes pass.

With ribbons, laces, pins, and thread—

With peeps into the looking-glass,

And tossings of the pretty head.

Full half an hour of anxious strife;

But still no wedding dress is there

To decorate the form so fair

Of her who would be made a wife.

"Three quarters!" cried she weeping—weary.

"It cometh now!" they said.

The maiden looked no longer dreary,

But hastened to be wed.

From Funny Folks.

In the Bon Gaultier Ballads is a parody of Lilian entitled:—

CAROLINE.

LIGHTSOME, brightsome, cousin mine,

Easy, breezy, Caroline!

With thy locks all raven-shaded,

From thy merry brow up-braided,

And thine eyes of laughter full,

Brightsome cousin mine!

Thou in chains of love hast bound me—

Wherefore dost thou flit around me,

Laughter-loving Caroline!

When I fain would go to sleep

In my easy chair,

Wherefore on my slumbers creep—

Wherefore start me from repose,

Tickling of my hookèd nose,

Pulling of my hair?

Wherefore, then, if thou dost love me,

So to words of anger move me,

Corking of this face of mine,

Tricksy cousin Caroline?

* * *

Would she only say she'd love me,

Winsome, tinsome, Caroline,

Unto such excess 'twould move me,

Teazing, pleasing, cousin mine!

That she might the live-long day

Undermine the snuffer-tray,

Tickle still my hookèd nose,

Startle me from calm repose

With her pretty persecution;

Throw the tongs against my shins,

Run me through and through with pins,

Like a piercèd cushion;

Would she only say she'd love me,

Darning-needles should not move me;

But, reclining back I'd say,

"Dearest! there's the snuffer-tray;

Pinch, O pinch those legs of mine!

Cork me, cousin Caroline!"

I next give an extract from a capital parody of The Merman, taken from The Bon Gaultier Ballads, in which the allusions to the Laureate's office are happily introduced.

THE LAUREATE.

WHO would not be

The Laureate bold,

With his butt of sherry

To keep him merry,

And nothing to do but to pocket his gold?

'Tis I would be the Laureate bold!

When the days are hot, and the sun is strong,

I'd lounge in the gateway all the day long,

With Her Majesty's footmen in crimson and gold.

I'd care not a pin for the waiting lord;

But I'd lie on my back on the smooth greensward

With a straw in my mouth, and an open vest,

And the cool wind blowing upon my breast,

And I'd vacantly stare at the clear blue sky,

And watch the clouds that are listless as I,

Lazily, lazily!

And I'd pick the moss and daisies white,