SCENE II
The same and USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. How are you managing to live, my jewels?
PODKHALYÚZIN. Thanks to your prayers, Ustinya Naúmovna, thanks to your prayers.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. [Kissing OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA] Why, I believe you've grown better looking, and have filled out a bit!
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Bah, what nonsense you're chattering, Ustinya
Naúmovna! Now, what struck you to come here?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What nonsense, my jewel! Here's what's up. Whether you like it or not, you can't help it.—If you like to slide down-hill you've got to pull up your sled.—Now, why have you forgotten me completely, my jewels? Or haven't you had a chance yet to look about you? I suppose you're all the time billing and cooing.
PODKHALYÚZIN. We have that failing, Ustinya Naúmovna; we have it.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Come, come now: just see what a nice sweetheart I got for you.
PODKHALYÚZIN. We're well satisfied, Ustinya Naúmovna; we're well satisfied.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. How could you be dissatisfied, my ruby? What's the matter with you! I suppose you're all the time bustling around over new clothes, now. Have you laid in a stock of stylish things yet?
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Not much so far, and that mostly because the new stuffs have just come in.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Naturally, my pearl, you can't help it; let 'em be of poor goods, so long's they're blue! But what kind of dresses did you order most of, woollens or silks?
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. All sorts—both woollens and silks; not long ago I had a crape made with gold trimmings.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. How much have you, all-in-all, my jewel?
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Here, count: my wedding-dress of blond lace over a satin slip; and three velvets—that makes four; two gauze and a crape embroidered with gold—that's seven; three satin, and three grosgrain—that's thirteen; gros de Naples and gros d'Afrique, seven—that's twenty; three marceline, two mousseline de ligne, two Chine royale—how many's that?—three and four's seven, and twenty—twenty-seven; four crape Rachel—that's thirty-one. Then there are muslins, bouffe mousseline and calico, about twenty, and then waists and morning jackets—about nine or ten. And then I've just had one made of Persian stuff.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Lord help you, what heaps you've got! But you go and pick out for me the largest of the gros d'Afrique ones.
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. I won't give you a gros d'Afrique. I have only three myself; besides, it wouldn't suit your figure: now, if you want to, you can take a crape Rachel.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What in time do I want with a tripe Rachel. Evidently there's nothing to be done with you; I'll be satisfied with a satin one, and let it go at that.
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Well, and the satin, too—it's not quite the thing, cut ballroom style, very low—you understand? But I'll look up a crape Rachel jacket; we'll let out the tucks, and it'll fit you like the paper on the wall.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Well, bring on your tripe Rachel! You win, my ruby; go open the clothes closet.
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Right away; wait just a minute.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I'll wait, my jewel, I'll wait. Besides, I have to have a little talk with your husband. [OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA goes out] What's this, my jewel, have you entirely forgotten about your promise?
PODKHALYÚZIN. How could I forget, ma'am? I remember. [He takes out his pocketbook and gives her a note.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Why, what's this, my diamond?
PODKHALYÚZIN. One hundred rubles, ma'am!
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Only one hundred? Why, you promised me fifteen hundred!
PODKHALYÚZIN. Wha—at, ma'am?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. You promised me fifteen hundred!
PODKHALYÚZIN. Ain't that a bit steep? Won't you be living too high?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What's this, you barnyard cockerel; are you trying to joke with me, man? I'm a mighty cocky lady myself!
PODKHALYÚZIN. But why should I give you money? I'd do it if there were any occasion for it.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Whether for something or for nothing, give it here—you promised it yourself!
PODKHALYÚZIN. What if I did promise! I promised to jump from the Tower of
Ivan the Great, provided I married Olimpiáda Samsónovna; should I jump?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Do you think I won't have the law on you? Much I care that you're a merchant of the second guild; I'm in the fourteenth class myself, and even if that ain't much, I'm an official's wife all the same.
PODKHALYÚZIN. You may be a general's wife—it's all the same to me; I won't have anything to do with you! And there's an end to it!
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. You lie, it ain't! You promised me a sable cloak.
PODKHALYÚZIN. What, ma'am?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. A sable cloak! Have you grown deaf, maybe?
PODKHALYÚZIN. Sable, ma'am! He, he, he!
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Yes, sable! What are you laughing and stretching your mouth at?
PODKHALYÚZIN. You haven't gone out for a stroll with your mug in a sable cloak[1] yet, have you?
[Footnote 1: Russian fur cloaks, it may be useful to remember, have broad collars that can be turned up to protect the face.]
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA brings in a dress and hands it to USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA.