SCENE III
The same, and USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. [Entering] How are you, my jewels! What are you gloomy and down in the dumps for?
[Kisses are exchanged.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. We'd about given you up.
LÍPOCHKA. Well, Ustinya Naúmovna, will he come soon?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. It's my fault, I own up at once; it's my fault! But our affairs, my jewels, aren't in a very good way.
LÍPOCHKA. How! What do you mean by that?
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Now what new notion have you got?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Why, my pearls, our suitor is wavering.
BOLSHÓV. Ha, ha, ha! You're a great go-between! How are you going to make a match?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. He's like a balky horse, he won't whoa nor giddup. You can't get a sensible word out of him.
LÍPOCHKA. But what's this, Ustinya Naúmovna? What do you mean, really?
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Holy saints! How can it be!
LÍPOCHKA. Have you just seen him?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. I was at his house this morning. He came out just as he was, in his dressing-gown; but he treated me, be it said to his honor. He ordered coffee, and rum, and heaps of fancy crackers—simply piles of them. "Eat away!" says he, "Ustinya Naúmovna." I had come on business, you know, so it was necessary to find out something definite. So I said: "You wanted to go to-day and get acquainted." But on that subject he wouldn't say a sensible word to me. "Well," he said, "we'll think it over, and advise about it." And all he did was pull at the cords of his dressing-gown.
LÍPOCHKA. Why does he just fold his arms and sentimentalize? Why, it's disgusting to see how long this lasts.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Really, now, why is he showing off? Aren't we as good as he is?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Plague take him; can't we find another fellow?
BOLSHÓV. Don't you look for another, or the same thing will happen again.
I'll find another for you myself.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Yes, much you will, unless you get down off the stove and hustle. You've actually forgotten, I think, that you have a daughter.
BOLSHÓV. We'll see!
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. We'll see what? We'll see nothing! Bah—don't talk to me, please; don't aggravate me. [She sits down.
BOLSHÓV bursts out laughing; USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA walks off with LÍPOCHKA to the other side of the stage. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA inspects the girl's dress.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. My! how you're dolled up—that dress certainly makes you look better. You didn't make it yourself, did you?
LÍPOCHKA. Horrible need I had of making it! Why, do you think we're beggars? What are dressmakers for?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Beggars, the idea! Who's saying anything so foolish to you? They can tell from your house-keeping that you didn't make it yourself. However, your dress is a fright.
LÍPOCHKA. What's the matter with you? Have you lost your wits? Where are your eyes? What gave you that wild notion?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What are you getting on your high horse for?
LÍPOCHKA. Nonsense! Think I'll stand such rubbish? What, am I an uncultivated hussy!
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What are you taking on so for? Where did such a caprice come from? Am I finding fault with your dress? Why, isn't it a dress?—and anybody will say it's a dress. But it isn't becoming to you; it's absolutely not the right thing for your style of beauty—blot out my soul if I lie. For you a gold one would be little enough; let's have one embroidered with seed-pearls. Ah! there you smile, my jewel! You see, I know what I'm talking about!
TISHKA. [Entering] Sysóy Psoich wants me to ask whether he, says he, can come in. He's out there with Lázar Elizárych.
BOLSHÓV. March! Call him in here with Lázar.
TISHKA goes out.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Well, now, the relish isn't ready for nothing: we'll take a snack. Now, Ustinya Naúmovna, I suppose you've been wanting a drop of vodka for a long time?
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Just the thing—it's one o'clock, the admiral's lunch-time.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Now, Samsón Sílych, move out of that place; what are you sitting there like that for?
BOLSHÓV. Wait a minute; they're coming up. There's time enough.
LÍPOCHKA. Mamma, I'll go change my dress.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Run along, my dear, run along.
BOLSHÓV. Wait a minute before changing—there's a suitor coming.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What sort of a suitor can that be? Quit your fooling.
BOLSHÓV. Wait a bit, Lipa, there's a suitor coming.
LÍPOCHKA. Who is it, daddy? Do I know him or not?
BOLSHÓV. You'll see him in a minute; and then, perhaps, you'll recognize him.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. What are you listening to him for? What sort of a clown is coming? He's just talking to hear himself talk.
BOLSHÓV. I told you that he was coming; and I usually know what I'm talking about.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. If anybody were actually coming, then you'd be talking sense; but you keep saying he's coming, he's coming, but God knows who it is that's coming. It's always like that.
LÍPOCHKA. Well, in that case I'll stay, mamma. [She goes to the mirror and looks at herself. Then to her father] Daddy!
BOLSHÓV. What do you want?
LÍPOCHKA. I'm ashamed to tell you, daddy!
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Ashamed of what, you little fool? Speak out if you need anything.
USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Shame isn't smoke—it won't eat out your eyes.
LÍPOCHKA. No, by heavens, I'm ashamed!
BOLSHÓV. Well, hide your face if you're ashamed!
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Do you want a new hat; is that it?
LÍPOCHKA. There! you didn't guess it. No, not a hat.
BOLSHÓV. Then what do you want?
LÍPOCHKA. To marry a soldier!
BOLSHÓV. Just listen to that!
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Wake up, you shameless girl! Lord help you!
LÍPOCHKA. Why—you see, others marry soldiers.
BOLSHÓV. Well, let 'em marry 'em; you just sit by the sea and wait for a fair breeze.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. And don't you dare give me any of your lip! I won't give you my mother's blessing.