SCENE IV
The same, BOLSHÓV, and AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Where is he? Where is he? My own children, my little doves! [Kisses are exchanged.
PODKHALYÚZIN. Daddy, how do you do, our respects!
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. My little dove, Samsón Sílych, my treasure! You've left me an orphan in my old age!
BOLSHÓV. That'll do, wife; stop!
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. What's the matter with you, ma? you're crying over him as if he were dead! God only knows what's happened.
BOLSHÓV. That's just it, daughter; God only knows; but all the same your father's in jail.
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Why, daddy, there are better people than you and me there, too.
BOLSHÓV. There are, that's so! But how does it feel to be there? How'd you like to go through the street with a soldier? Oh, daughter! You see they've known me here in this city for forty years; for forty years they've all bowed to me down to their belts, but now the street brats point their fingers at me.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. You haven't any color at all, my darling! You look like a ghost.
PODKHALYÚZIN. Ah, daddy, God is merciful! When the rough places are smoothed over it'll all be pleasant again. Well, daddy, what do the creditors say?
BOLSHÓV. Here's what: they've agreed on the terms. "What's the use," they say, "of dragging it out? Maybe it'll do good, maybe it won't; but just give something in cash, and deuce take you!"
PODKHALYÚZIN. Why not give 'em something, sir! By all means do, sir! But do they ask much, daddy?
BOLSHÓV. They ask twenty-five kopeks.
PODKHALYÚZIN. That's a good deal, daddy!
BOLSHÓV. Well, man, I know myself that it's a good deal; but what's to be done? They won't take less.
PODKHALYÚZIN. If they'd take ten kopeks, then it'd be all right sir. Seven and a half for satisfaction, and two and a half for the expenses of the meeting.
BOLSHÓV. That's the way I talked; but they won't listen to it.
PODKHALYÚZIN. They carry it blamed high! But won't they take eight kopeks in five years?
BOLSHÓV. What's the use, Lázar, we'll have to give twenty-five; that's what we proposed at first.
PODKHALYÚZIN. But how, daddy! You yourself used to say not to give more than ten kopeks, sir. Just consider yourself: at the rate of twenty-five kopeks, that's a lot of money. Daddy, wouldn't you like to take a snack of something, sir? Mamma! order them to bring some vodka, and have them start the samovar; and we, for company's sake, 'll just take a thimbleful, sir.—But twenty-five kopeks's a lot, sir!
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Right away, my dear, right away! [She goes out.
BOLSHÓV. But what are you talking to me for: of course, I know it's a good deal, but how can I help it? They'll put you in the pen for a year and a half; they'll have a soldier lead you through the streets every week, and if you don't watch out, they'll even transfer you to prison: so you'd be glad to give even half a ruble. You don't know where to hide yourself from mere shame.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA enters with vodka; TISHKA brings in relishes, and goes out.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. My own little dove! Eat, my dear, eat! I suppose they half starve you there!
PODKHALYÚZIN. Eat, daddy! Don't be particular; we're offering you such as we have.
BOLSHÓV. Thanks, Lázar, thanks! [He drinks] Take a drink yourself.
PODKHALYÚZIN. Your health! [He drinks] Mamma, won't you have some, ma'am?
Please do!
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Holy saints, what am I to do now? Such is the will of God! O Lord, my God! Ah, my own little dove, you!
PODKHALYÚZIN. Ah, mamma, God is merciful; we'll get out of it somehow. Not all at once, ma'am!
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Lord grant we may! As it is, it makes me pine away simply looking at him.
BOLSHÓV. Well, what about it, Lázar?
PODKHALYÚZIN. Ten kopeks, if you please, I'll give, sir, as we said.
BOLSHÓV. But where am I going to get fifteen more? I can't make 'em out of door-mats.
PODKHALYÚZIN. Daddy, I can't raise 'em, sir! God sees that I can't, sir!
BOLSHÓV. What's the matter, Lázar? What's the matter? What have you done with the money?
PODKHALYÚZIN. Now you just consider: here I'm setting up in business—have fixed up a house. But do have something to eat, daddy! You can have some Madeira if you want it, sir! Mamma, pass daddy something.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Eat, Samsón Sílych, dear! Eat! I'll pour out a little punch for you, dear!
BOLSHÓV. [Drinks] Rescue me, my children, rescue me!
PODKHALYÚZIN. Here, daddy, you were pleased to ask what I had done with the money?—How can you ask, sir? Just consider yourself: I'm beginning to do business; of course, without capital it's impossible, sir; there's nothing to begin on. Here, I've bought a house; we've ordered everything that a good house ought to have, horses, and one thing and another. Just consider yourself! One has to think about the children.
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Why, daddy, we can't strip ourselves bare! We're none of your common townspeople.
PODKHALYÚZIN. Daddy, please consider: to-day, without capital, sir, without capital you can't do much business.
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. I lived with you until I was twenty years old, daddy, and was a regular stay-at-home. What, would you have me give back the money to you, and go about again in calico-print clothes?
BOLSHÓV. What are you saying? What are you saying? Recollect! You see I'm not asking any kindness of you, but my rights. Are you human beings?
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Why, of course, daddy, we're human beings; we're not animals.
BOLSHÓV. Lázar, you just recollect; you see, I've given away everything to you, fairly wiped my slate clean; here's what I've got left, you see! You see, I took you into my house when you were a little rascal, you heartless scoundrel! I gave you food and drink as if I were your own father, and set you up in the world. But did I ever see any sort of gratitude in you? Did I? Recollect, Lázar, how many times have I noticed that you were light-fingered! What of it? I didn't drive you away as if you were a beast, I didn't tell on you all over town. I made you my head clerk; I gave all my property away to you; and to you, Lázar, I gave even my daughter, with my own hand. If you hadn't received permission from me, you'd never have dared look at her.
PODKHALYÚZIN. If you please, daddy, I feel all that very keenly, sir.
BOLSHÓV. Yes, you do! You ought to give everything away as I did, and leave yourself nothing but your shirt, just to rescue your benefactor. But I don't ask that, I don't need to; you simply pay out for me what's expected now.
PODKHALYÚZIN. And why shouldn't I pay, sir? Only they ask a price that's wholly unreasonable.
BOLSHÓV. But am I asking it? I begged out of every one of your kopeks I could; I begged, and bowed down to their feet; but what can I do, when they won't come down one little bit?
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. We have told you, daddy, that we can't pay more than ten kopeks—and there's no use saying any more about it.
BOLSHÓV. And so, daughter, you say: "Go along now, you old devil, you, into the pen! Yes, into the pen! Off to prison with him, the old blockhead! And it serves him right!"—Don't chase after great wealth, be contented with what you have. But if you do chase after wealth, they'll take away the last you have, and strip you clean. And it'll come about that you'll run out onto the Stone Bridge, and throw yourself into the river Moscow. And they'll haul you out by your tongue, and put you in prison. [All are silent; BOLSHÓV drinks] But you just think a bit: what kind of a walk am I going to have to the pen now? How am I going to shut my eyes? Now the Ilyínka will seem to me a hundred miles long. Just think, how it will seem to walk along the Ilyínka! It's just as if the devils were dragging my sinful soul through torment; Lord, forgive me for saying so! And then past the Iver Chapel[1]: how am I going to look upon her, the Holy Mother?—You know, Lázar; Judas, you see, sold even Christ for money, just as we sell our conscience for money. And what happened to him because of it?—And then there are the government offices, the criminal tribunal!—You see, I did it with set purpose, with malice aforethought.—You see, they'll exile me to Siberia. O Lord!—If you won't give me the money for any other reason, give it as charity, for Christ's sake. [He weeps.
[Footnote 1: In which there is a miracle-working image of the Virgin.]
PODKHALYÚZIN. What's the matter, what's the matter, daddy? There, there, now! God is merciful! What's the matter with you? We'll fix it up somehow. It's all in our hands.
BOLSHÓV. I need money, Lázar, money. There's nothing else to fix it with.
Either money or Siberia.
PODKHALYÚZIN. And I'll give you money, sir, if you'll only let up. As it is, I'll add five kopeks more.
BOLSHÓV. What have we come to! Have you any Christian feeling in you? I need twenty-five kopeks, Lázar!
PODKHALYÚZIN. No, daddy, that's a good deal, sir; by heaven, that's a good deal!
BOLSHÓV. You nest of snakes!
[He falls with his head upon the table.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Barbarian, you barbarian! Robber that you are! You shan't have my blessing! You'll dry up, money and all; you'll dry up, dying before your time! You robber! Robber that you are!
PODKHALYÚZIN. That'll do, mamma; you're angering God. Why are you cursing me when you haven't looked into the business? You can see that daddy has got a bit tipsy, and you start to make a row.
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. It would be better for you, ma, to keep still! You seem to enjoy sending people to the third hell. I know: you'll catch it for this. It must be for that reason God didn't give you any more children.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Keep still yourself, shameless creature! You were enough of a punishment for God to send me!
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. You think everybody's shameless and that you're the only good person. But you ought to take a good look at yourself: all you can do is fast one day extra every week, and not a day goes by that you don't bark at somebody.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Shame on you! Shame on you! Oh! Oh! Oh!—I'll curse you in all the churches!
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Curse away if you want to!
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Yes, that's it! You'll die, and not rot! Yes!
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Much I shall!
BOLSHÓV. [Rising] Well, good-by, children!
PODKHALYÚZIN. Why, daddy, sit still! We've got to settle this business somehow or other.
BOLSHÓV. Settle what? I see plainly enough that the jig is up. You'll make a mistake if you don't do me up brown! Don't you pay anything for me; let 'em do what they please. Good-by, it's time I was going.
PODKHALYÚZIN. Good-by, daddy! God is merciful—-you'll get out of this somehow.
BOLSHÓV. Good-by, wife.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Good-by, Samsón Sílych, dear! When'll they let us come to see you in jail?
BOLSHÓV. Don't know.
AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. Then I'll inquire, otherwise you'll die there without our seeing you.
BOLSHÓV. Good-by, daughter! Good-by, Olimpiáda Samsónovna! Well, now you're going to be rich, and live like a princess. That means assemblies and balls—devil's own amusements! But don't you forget, Olimpiáda Samsónovna, that there are cells with iron bars, and poor prisoners are sitting in them. Don't forget us poor prisoners.
[He goes out with AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA.
PODKHALYÚZIN. Ah! Olimpiáda Samsónovna, ma'am! How awkward, ma'am! I pity your father, by heaven I pity him, ma'am! Hadn't I better go myself and compound with his creditors? Don't you think I'd better, ma'am? Yet he himself will soften them better. Ah! Or shall I go? I'll go, ma'am! Tishka!
OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Do just as you please—it's your business.
PODKHALYÚZIN. Tishka! [TISHKA enters] Give me my old coat, the worst one there is. [TISHKA goes out] As I am, they'd think I must be rich; and in that case, there'd be no coming to terms.