MISTER TOBIN, EDUCATOR.
A gentle, kindly man is he,
The soul of generosity;
Our little ones he gladly gives
The right to split infinitives.
The boys and girls who go to school
Approve of Mister Tobin’s rule.
They find no cause to make complaint
At learning words like das’t and ain’t.
Two negatives has every boy,
And uses them with pride and joy
And every girl has utmost skill
In interchanging shall and will.
Those noble boys and girls decry
The priggish use of “It is I.”
If you should ask, “Who was with he?”
They’d answer simply, “It was me.”
Pantaletta.
It is not nice of readers to try to take advantage of our innocence. M. L. J., for example, writes out the valve-handle wheeze in longhand [p 125] />]and assures us that “it is an exact copy of a letter received by a stove manufacturing company in St. Louis, from a customer in Arkansas.”
VARIANT OF THE VALVE-HANDLE WHEEZE.
(Received by a drug concern.)
Gentlemen: Your postal received, regarding an order which you sent us and which you have not, as yet, received.
Upon referring to our records, we fail to find any record of ever having received the order in question. The last order received from your firm was for a pair of flat cylindrical lenses to match broken sample you enclosed. This was taken care of the same day as received and sent on to you, properly addressed. We would suggest that you enter tracer with the postoffice department in endeavor to locate the package.
Regretting that it is necessary for us to give you this information, we remain, etc.
P. S. Since writing the above, the order in question was received at this office—this morning.