TRANSLATION.
Did I ever go to church? Yes, twice, and sat down there. I was in the lower land of all (Cornwall), and a gentleman asked me to go to church, and I went. And all the ladies and gentlemen looked at me as I went in. So I sat quietly among some men and looked up on the wall above my head, and there were a deer and a rabbit cut in the stone, beautifully done. I heard the clergyman speaking; and when the sermon was ended (literally, made), I came out and went down the road to the alehouse.
I found the gentleman’s servant in the alehouse; so we got drunk there, and were going home down the road when we saw the gentleman’s carriage coming. So we went quickly enough over the hedge, and hid ourselves there in the field until the gentleman was gone.
I saw the gentleman in the morning, and he asked me what I had done the day before, after church. I told him I’d drunk two or three cups of ale and was half tipsy. And he said, “My man was drunk as you, and I sent him off.” I told him then, “I hope not, sir, for such a little thing as that; and he is not used to drink ale, he’s only accustomed to cider, that don’t intoxicate him.” But no, the poor man had to go away. And that’s all I can tell you about my going to church.