CHOICES
The Czar was recently complimenting a soldier, and asked him if he would rather have 100 rubles or the Iron Cross.
"Would your Majesty deign to tell me the value of the cross?" inquired the private.
"Oh, it is not worth much intrinsically, perhaps two rubles."
"Then, your Majesty, I will take the cross and ninety-eight rubles."
This is an interesting episode, and the most interesting thing about it is that it also happened during the Franco-Prussian War, the Crimean War, the Seven Years' War, and the Marlborough campaigns.
Eyeball or Highball
An old Scotsman was threatened with blindness if he did not give up drinking.
"Now, McTavish," said the doctor, "it's like this: You've either to stop the whisky or lose your eyesight, and you must choose."
"Ay, weel, doctor," said McTavish, "I'm an auld man noo, an' I was thinkin' I ha'e seen about everything worth seein'."
OFFICER-"Hang it! you've brought the wrong boots. Can't you see one is black and the other brown?"
BATMAN-"Sure, but the other pair is just the same."
"Let me see! How does that old saying go: 'Of two evils always choose—?"
"Always choose the one you haven't indulged in before."