CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS
Dorothy, who is six, has a playmate younger than herself whose parents are Christian Scientists. One day she said:
"Mother, do you know that it is better to be a Christian Scientist than anything else?"
Mother asked "Why?" and Dorothy said:
"Well, Julia has 'splained it to me. If you get cross with another little girl, and you knock her down, if you are a Christian Scientist you won't have to apologize to her, because it won't hurt her any."
A Mental Error
The tram-car was hopelessly overcrowded, and several people, who had achieved the upper deck, were transgressing all regulations by standing.
"Now, then," called out the girl conductor, with emphasis, "you can't stand on top."
"Well," said one literalist, smiling blandly as he peered down the steps, "we are standing, whether we can or not."
The girl answered nothing, but promptly pressed a button. The car jumped forward, and the literalist involuntarily took a seat on the floor.
"There," said the girl apparently in complete good humor, quoting the barrister in a famous play, "you think you can, but you can't."
A Christian Scientist while walking about the plant met a man doubled up with pain.
"My man," he said, "What is the matter?"
"I was out to a banquet last night," moaned the man, "And oh, how I ache!"
"You don't ache," answered the apostle of Mrs. Eddy. "Your pain is imagination. It is all in your mind."
The man looked up in grave astonishment at such a statement and then replied in a most positive manner:
"That's all right; you may think so, but I've got inside information."