POLICE
"Why doesn't the policeman pay his fare?" inquired the old gentleman on the twopenny tram, observing that no money passed between the constable and the conductor.
"Well, you know, sir," explained the conductor, "you can't get twopence out of a copper."
"Gent up-town telephones for an officer at once. Burglar in the house."
"Let me see," said the captain, reflectively. "I've got four men censoring plays, two inspecting the gowns at a society function, and two more supervising a tango tea. Tell him I can send him an officer in about two hours."
JUDGE—"You let the burglar go to arrest an automobilist?"
POLICEMAN—"Yes. The autoist pays a fine and adds to the resources of the State; the burglar goes to prison, and the State has to pay for his keep."—Life.