POLITENESS
Politeness is the art of getting what you want.
MRS. SMITH—"Politeness costs nothing, I am sure, my dear."
SMITH—"No; but if it was advertised at $1.98, a lot more people would have it."
"Hum, ho!" sighed the New-Hampshire farmer as he came in from down-town. "Deacon Jones wants me to be pall-bearer again to his wife's funeral."
"Wal, you're goin' to be, ain't ye?" asked the farmer's better half.
"I dunno. Y' know, when Deacon Jones's fust wife died, he asked me to be a pall-bearer, an' I did; and then his second wife died, an' I was the same again. An' then he married thet Perkins gal, and she died, and I was pall-bearer to that funeral. An' now—wal, I don't like to be all the time acceptin' favors without bein' able to return 'em."
Dickie's father was shocked to see his son kick his little playmate.
"Why did you kick John?" he asked, severely.
"I am tired of playing with him. I want him to go home," was Dickie's answer.
"Then why didn't you ask him to go home?"
"Oh"—it was Dickie's turn to be shocked—"why, daddy, that wouldn't be polite!"
See also Etiquet.