POLITICAL PARTIES
Kane, Pa., May 21.—During a circus parade here today one of the elephants, as if to relieve the monotony, flung its trunk in the air and brought it down with a resounding thump on a mule at the curb quietly watching the sights.
Altho hitched to a delivery-wagon the mule wheeled about, took aim, and kicked twice. His hoofs caught the elephant squarely on the knees. The elephant stopped for an instant, but sought no further interchanges with the mule and finished the parade with a decided limp.
When Colonel Roosevelt was making a political speech in Maine he asked if there was a Democrat in the audience. An old long whiskered man rose in the back of the room and said, "I am a Democrat." Roosevelt then asked him why he was a Democrat and he said: "I've always been a Democrat, my father was a Democrat and my grandfather was a Democrat." Roosevelt then said: "Then if your father had been a horsethief and your grandfather had been a horsethief you would be a horsethief?" "No," he said, "I would be a Republican."
In an Americanization class in one of our large cities, Achilles Bonglis, a Greek, about fifty years old, was called upon to recite the oath of allegiance, and did so promptly:
"I pledge allegiance to our flag and the Republicans for which it stands."
MEMBROOKE—"Backus seems to be a very popular candidate. Is he running on the Progressive ticket?"
YISTLEY—"No, the Retrogressive, His platform is five-cent trolleys, ten-cent bread, three-dollar shoes and 1913 rents."
A prominent Chicago politician, when a candidate for an important municipal office, related the following story of his campaign.
"Once I told three negroes that I'd give a big turkey to the one who'd give the best reason for his being a Republican.
"The first one said: 'I'se a 'publican kase de 'publican set us niggers free.'
"'Very good, Pete,' said I. 'Now, Bill, let me hear from you.'
"'Well, I'se a 'publican kase dey don' gib us a pertective tariff.'
"'Fine!' I exclaimed. 'Now, Sam, what have you to say?'
"'Boss," said Sam, scratching his head and shifting from one foot to the other, 'boss, I'se a 'publican kase I wants dat turkey.'
"And he got it."