PUNS
"Have you a little fairy in your home?"
"No, but I have a little miss in my engine."
SMALL SCOUT—"Dad, what are the silent watches of the night?"
INDULGENT FATHER—"They are the ones which their owners forgot to wind, my son."
"Here, boy," said the man to the boy who was helping him drive a bunch of cattle, "hold this bull a minute, will you?"
"No," answered the boy, "I don't mind bein' a director in this company, but I'm darned if I want to be a stockholder."
MA—"You've been drinking. I smell it in your breath." PA—"Not a drop. I've been eating frog's legs. What you smell is the hops."
PROF.—"What happened to Babylon?"
FRESH.—"It fell."
PROF.—"What happened to Tyre?"
FRESH.—"It was punctured."
That was a good, though rather a severe pun, which was made by a student in one of our theological seminaries (and he was not one of the brightest of the class, either), when he asked, "Why is Professor —— the greatest revivalist of the age?" and on all "giving it up," said, "Because at the close of every sermon there is a 'Great Awakening.'"