SPECULATION
"My wife watches the sugar market closely."
"Speculating?"
"In a small way. She borrows when it's high and pays back when it's low."
The old millionaire and his beautiful bride, after their quiet wedding, had a quiet wedding breakfast a deux. Astrakhan caviar, eggs pompadour, a truffled chicken, fresh California peas, champagne—so the quiet breakfast ran.
"My dear," said the old millionaire, as the fruit course, a superb Florida melon, came on, "tell me, dear"—and he laid his withered hand on her young one—"do you love me for what I am or for what I was?"
The beautiful girl smiled down from the window into the admiring eyes of a young clubman who was passing; then she bent her clear, considering gaze on the gray ruin opposite and replied:
"I love you, George, for what you will be."
HARPER—"Foozle has a great scheme and he invited me 'to get in on the ground floor.'"
CARPER—"Don't forget that that is where the trap-doors are."
HEWITT—"Don't you think I stand a good chance of making a fortune out of that mine?"
JEWITT—"Out of it, yes. In it, no."