WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS
Dialogue between two Young Gentlemen, dressed in Knickerbocker Suits, Gaiters, and Golf caps. They have the indescribable air which proclaims the votary of the "Bike."
First Young Gentleman. Yes; I certainly agree with the French view of it. Cycling shouldn't be indulged in without care.
Second Y. G. They say in Paris that no one should become an habitual cyclist without "medical authorisation."
First Y. G. Yes. Quite right. Then, when you are permitted, you ought to travel at a moderate pace. About five miles an hour is quite enough for a beginner.
Second Y. G. Enough! Why, too much! You can't be too careful! Then, if you break off for a time, you ought to begin all over again. You should "gradually acquire speed"; not rush at it!
First Y. G. Certainly. I read in the Lancet only the other day that merely increasing the pace of a bike a couple of miles an hour was sufficient to send up the normal pulse to 150!
Second Y. G. Most alarming! And yet I can see from your costume you are a cyclist.
First Y. G. Not at all. I am pleased with the costume, and, like yourself, have adopted it. Now do not laugh at me. But, between ourselves, I have never been on a bicycle in my life!
Second Y. G. No more have I!
[Curtain.
The provincial journal which, the other day, published the following paragraph:—"Private letters from Madagascar state that two cyclists have visited the island, causing the loss of 200 lives and immense damage to property," and followed it up with a leader virulently attacking motor-cyclists, now informs us that the word should have been "cyclones." The printer has been warned.
"Anti-Motor" writes to point out that one advantage of holding motor races like those that have just taken place in Ireland is that after each race there are fewer motors.
The Trail of the Motor.—"COLLECTOR.
Young man wants collecting."—Advt. in Provincial Paper.
"Enough is as good as a Feast."—Nervous Lady Cyclist. "I hope it isn't very deep here."
Ferryman. "Sax hunderd an' fefty-nine feet, Miss."
Old Farmer Jones (who has been to a local cattle-show, and seen a horseless carriage for the first time). "Mosher carsh may be all very well—(hic!)—but they can't find 'er way home by 'emshelves!"