LEGAL MAXIMS
(Suggestions for alteration and adaptation to Modern Manners and Customs, after the Jackson decision by the Court of Appeal.)
Common Law.—“The tradition of ages shall prevail,” save when it runs counter to the opinions of a leader-writer of a daily-paper.
Equity.—(1.) “No right shall be without a remedy,” save when it is sentimentally suggested that somebody’s right may be somebody else’s wrong.
(2.) “Equity follows the law,” at such a distance that it never comes up with it.
(3.) “Equity is equality,” save when a man’s wife is literally his better half.
(4.) “Where there is equal equity the law must prevail,” in any view it pleases to take at the instance of the Lord Chancellor for the time being.
(5.) “Where the equities are equal the law prevails,” in any course it likes to pursue.
(6.) “Equity looks upon that as done which is agreed to be done,” especially when, after obtaining legal relief, the suitor ultimately finds himself sold.
Contracts.—(1.) “All contracts are construed according to the intentions of the parties,” save where one of them subsequently changes his mind.
(2.) “The construction should be liberal” enough to suit the fancy of the Judge who enforces it.
(3.) “It should be favourable” to a long and angry correspondence in all the principal newspapers.
(4.) “The contract should in general be construed according to the law of the country where made,” but certainly not in particular.
(5.) “That testimony cannot be given to vary, but may to explain a written contract,” save when someone suggests that this practice shall be reversed.
(6.) “He who employs an agent does it himself,” unless it is considered advisable to take an opposite view of the matter.
Parent and Child.—“A father shall have the custody of his children,” except when they get beyond his control and defy his authority.
Landlord and Tenant.—“A landlord has a right to receive his rent,” if the tenant does not spend the money on something else.
Husband and Wife.—“A man has a right to the society of his wife,” when she does not prefer to give her company elsewhere.
Birthright of an Englishman. (Popular traditionally, but strictly speaking supplementary.)—“An Englishman’s house is his castle,” but only the pied à terre of the lawfully wedded sharer of his income.
Old Father Antic.
At the Head of the Profession.—Scene: Prisoners’ waiting room adjoining police-court. (Eminently respectable director awaiting examination.)
Artful Dodger (to Charley Bates). “You’ve been copped for a till—and me for a cly. But ’e’s been copped for a bank—shared somethin’ like six million swag among the lot!”
Charley Bates (in a tone of respectful admiration). “Lor!”
“On there! Pass along!” (Exeunt.) Antony and Cleopatra, Act III., Sc. 1.
We scoff at savages who bow down before strange idols, yet we invariably “worship” the bench.
“It is very odd,” said Serjeant Channell to Thessiger, “that Tindal should have decided against me on that point of law which, to me, seemed as plain as A B C.” “Yes,” replied Thessiger, “but of what use is it that it should have been A B C to you, if the judge was determined to be D E F to it?”
A Thought in the Divorce Court.—There is a wide difference between the judge ordinary and an ordinary judge.