THE COUNSEL’S TEAR
If Faraday’s or Liebig’s art
Could crystallise this legal treasure,
Long might a pleader, near his heart,
The jewel wear with chuckling pleasure.
The native brilliant, ere it fell,
A squeeze produced in Walker’s eye,
Which, winking, dropped the liquid “sell,”
The spring of plausibility.
Nice drop of rich and racy light,
In thee the rays of humour shine;
Almost as queer, all but as bright,
As any gem or joke of mine.
Thou fine effusion of the soul!
That never fail’st to gain relief,
Which barristers can ne’er control,
When thou art like to help their brief.
The farce-wright’s and the jester’s theme
In many a joke, on many a stage,
Thou moisten’st Chitty’s arid theme,
And Blackstone’s dry and dreary page.
That very lawyer, who a tear
Can shed, as from the bosom’s source,
With feeling equally sincere,
Could weep on t’other side—of course.
QUITE UNNECESSARY QUESTION
Newly-appointed Magistrate. “Any previous convictions against the prisoner?”
What our Articled Clerk said.—The chief lawyer of Turkey can never be a weak man, since every new law there is established by a firman.
[We have transferred our A. C. to a provincial firm.
“Pendente Lite.”—A chandelier.
The Greatest of the “Great Unpaid.”—The National Debt.
Advice to Crown Lawyers.—Employ a hydropathic doctor, if you want to pack a jury.
Heirs-at-Law.—Barristers’ wigs.
Proper Decoration for a “Blocked” Law Court.—Bar-relief.
Sunday Observances.—See the Monday charges at the police courts.
“A Bolt from the Blue.”—Running away from a policeman.
Proof of the Integrity of the Law.—The return of the Lent Assizes.
MARTIAL ARDOUR
Little Spadgett never can resist his military instincts under these circumstances.
Lovesuit and Lawsuit.—Promise of marriage is like precious china—a man has so much to pay for its breakage.
Police!—What tune would a person whistle who had been stealing milk? “Robin Adair,” eh? (Robin’ a dairy!!!)
The Force of Contradiction can no further go.—To make a will is the wont of every prudent man.
Definition of the Bar (by an unlucky suitor).—Silk, stuff, and nonsense.