It Isn’t What You Used to Was
Here’s to the man of forty and past,
Who’s lived his young life and lived it fast;
And here’s to his wife of twenty-four,
Who kisses him sweetly and coaxes for more;
But all that he’ll do is to buzz and buzz
And tell what a guy he used to was.
* * *
“Oi, Oi, Ikey, I’ve got a joke on you. You forgot to pull your vindow curtain down last night and I could see you and your vife all de time.”
“No, No. Abie, the joke’s on you. I vasn’t home at all last night.”
* * *
When I was young and had some sense,
I tried to jump a barb wire fence.
—Mascot.
* * *
Kissing a woman is like taking olives out of a bottle—get the first one and the rest come easy.
* * *