That Famous Lullaby
Sleep, baby, sleep,
You’re mama’s pet;
Though your father voted dry,
You were always wet.
* * *
It has been said that the only possible way to get some men to the front is by kicking them in the rear, which reminds us of the Russian Jewish battalion in the recent Polish invasion that was cut off in the front while running to the rear.
* * *
A few months ago the girls ran away from a drunken man—now they run after him to see where he got it.
* * *
You tell ’em, locomotive; you’ve got a tender behind you.
* * *
Arabella: “Children are such an expense nowadays, I don’t see why you have so many.”
Mrs. Murphy: “Well, you know there are moments in the lives of all great men when they don’t care a darn for expenses.”
* * *
Born in Kentucky,
Raised in Tennessee,
Won’t somebody come
And shimmie with me.
—Shakesbeer.
* * *
Youngblood, arrested in St. Paul, on trial:
Police Judge—“Who brought you here?”
Youngblood—“Two policemen.”
Judge—“Drunk, I suppose?”
Y. B.—“Yes, both of them.”
* * *
Father said: “My boy, when I was your age down on the farm, I retired with the chickens.”
Son replied: “That’s nothing, dad, so do I.”
* * *
She may be a moonshiner’s daughter, but I love her “still.”
* * *
Oh, my daddy’s in the back yard
A-sawing a log;
Baby’s in the cradle
A-walking the dawg,
Oh! Honey, how long must I wait
Shall I get you now
Or must I hesitate?
* * *
Say a kind word for Patrick O’Toole
He borrowed a feather to tickle a mule.
* * *
Here’s to the girl with the high-heeled shoes
Who eats my lobsters and drinks my booze
And taxies home to mother to snooze.
I’ll marry her yet.
* * *