CRUEL KINDNESS.
There was once a schoolboy who was caught fishing in forbidden waters. He knew that the penalty was a switching (old style), and his contemporaries were pleased to remind him of the fact. Five o'clock was the hour fixed for the interview. The boy was small for his age, but brainy. All day he studied how he might save his skin and disappoint his friends, and at 4.30 he repaired stealthily to his dormitory to make his plans. They consisted of a sheet of brown paper—all that remained, alas, of a home-made cake—two copies of The Scout and a chest protector, which had been included in his outfit by a solicitious parent. By means of the fatal fishing line he attached the combined padding to his person, then, stiffly resuming his garments, knocked at the dread portal as the clock struck.
The Head glanced down over his spectacles. The boy stood strangely erect, and his face was brave though pale. A cane lay on the table. The master's eye was sterner than his heart. His hand reached for the cane, but he replaced it in a drawer, and for twenty minutes the listeners in the corridor vainly pricked their ears for the accustomed sounds.
"Well?" they inquired anxiously when the victim reappeared.
"He only jawed me," replied the small boy; and he wept.
An "agony" in The Daily Graphic:
"Maud darling, did you see my last massage?... Ada."
No, Ada, but she heard about it. Stick to it and you'll soon be down to twelve-stone-five again.
"In the Italian Chamber, on the 12th instant, there was only a majority of Bill. It is believed that the Giolitti Cabinet is tottering.—Ostasiatischer Lloyd."
North China Herald.
Gulielmo's casting vote cannot save them every time.
"On his motor-trip he never met any cat travelling either without lights after dusk or on the wrong side of the road."
Ceylon Observer.
Our dogs may well learn a lesson from this.
"The bride carried a large bouquet of Harum lilies."—South Staffordshire Times.
This sort has two stalks, of course.
Mistress. "Why have you put two hot-water bottles in my bed, Bridget?"
Bridget. "Sure, Mem, wan of thim was leaking, and I didn't know which, so I put both in to make sure."