FALSE APPEARANCES AND PRETENCES, HYPOCRISY, DOUBLE DEALING, TIME-SERVING.
Appearances are deceitful.[466]
"Always judge your fellow-passengers to be the opposite of what they strive to appear to be. For instance, a military man is not quarrelsome, for no man doubts his courage; but a snob is. A clergyman is not over-straitlaced, for his piety is not questioned; but a cheat is. A lawyer is not apt to be argumentative; but an actor is. A woman that is all smiles and graces is a vixen at heart: snakes fascinate. A stranger that is obsequious and over-civil without apparent cause is treacherous: cats that purr are apt to bite and scratch. Pride is one thing, assumption is another; the latter must always get the cold shoulder, for whoever shows it is no gentleman: men never affect to be what they are, but what they are not. The only man who really is what he appears to be is—a gentleman."[467]
The Livonians say, "The bald pate talks most of hair;" and, "You may freely give a rope to one who talks about hanging."
Yellow iron pyrites is as bright as gold, and has often been mistaken for it. The worthless spangles have even been imported at great cost from California. "Every glowworm is not a fire" (Italian).[468] "Where you think there are flitches of bacon there are not even hooks to hang them on" (Spanish).[469] Many a reputed rich man is insolvent.
Much ado about nothing.
"Great cry and little wool," as the fellow said when he sheared the pig.
"Meikle cry and little woo'," as the deil said when he clipped the sow.—Scotch.
"The mountain is in labour, and will bring forth a mouse" (Latin).[470]
Likely lies in the mire, and unlikely gets over.—Scotch.
Some from whom great things are expected fail miserably, while others of no apparent mark or promise surprise the world by their success.
You must not hang a man by his looks.
He may be one who is
Like a singed cat, better than likely.
"Under a shabby cloak there is a good tippler" (Spanish).[471]
Affected indifference is often a trick to obtain an object of secret desire. "I don't want it, I don't want it," says the Spanish friar; "but drop it into my hood."[472] "'It is nought, it is nought,' saith the buyer; but when he is gone he vaunteth." The girls of Italy, who know how often this artifice is employed in affairs of love, have a ready retort against sarcastic young gentlemen in the adage, "He that finds fault would fain buy."[473]
He that lacks [disparages] my mare would buy my mare.—Scotch.
"Sour grapes," said the fox when he could not reach them.
Empty vessels give the greatest sound.
Shaal [shallow] waters mak the maist din.—Scotch.
Smooth waters run deep; or,
Still waters are deep.
This last proverb, we are told by Quintus Curtius, was current among the Bactrians.[474] The Servians say, "A smooth river washes away its banks;" the French, "There is no worse water than that which sleeps."[475] "The most covered fire is the strongest" (French);[476] and "Under white ashes there is glowing coal" (Italian).[477]
So closely does the shadow of godliness—hypocrisy—wait upon the substance. "Very seldom does any good thing arise but there comes an ugly phantom of a caricature of it, which sidles up against the reality, mouths its favourite words as a third-rate actor does a great part, under-mimics its wisdom, overacts its folly, is by half the world taken for it, goes some way to suppress it in its own time, and perhaps lives for it in history."[478] Defoe says,—
"Wherever God erects a house of prayer,
The devil always builds a chapel there;
And 'twill be found upon examination
The latter has the largest congregation."
The proverb is found in nearly the same form in Italian.[479] The French say, "The devil chants high mass,"[480] which reminds us of another English adage, applied by Antonio to Shylock:—
The devil can quote Scripture for his purpose.
"The devil lurks behind the cross,"[481] say the Spaniards; and, "By the vicar's skirts the devil gets up into the belfry."[482] "O the slyness of sin," exclaim the Germans, "that puts an angel before every devil!"[483] The same thought is expressed by the Queen of Navarre in her thirteenth novel, where she speaks of "covering one's devil with the fairest angel."[484]
When the fox preaches beware of the geese.
"The fox preaches to the hens" (French).[485] "When the devil says his paternosters he wants to cheat you" (French).[486] "Never spread your wheat in the sun before the canter's door" (Spanish).[487]
A honey tongue, a heart of gall.
Mouth of ivy, heart of holly.—Irish.
He can say, "My jo," an' think it na.—Scotch.
Too much courtesy, too much craft.
"The words of a saint, and the claws of a cat" (Spanish).[488] "The cat is friendly, but scratches" (Spanish).[489] "Many kiss the hands they would fain see chopped off" (Arab and Spanish).[490]
Said of a very demure person, sometimes with this addition, "And yet cheese would not choke him." Of such a person the Spaniards say, "He looks as if he would not muddy the water."[491] "Nothing is more like an honest man than a rogue" (French).[492]
They're no a' saints that get holy water.—Scotch.
"All are not saints who go to church" (Italian).[493] "Not all who go to church say their prayers" (Italian).[494] "All are not hunters who blow the horn" (French).[495] "All are not soldiers who go to the wars" (Spanish).[496] "All are not princes who ride with the emperor" (Dutch).[497]
The chamber of sickness is the chapel of devotion.
The devil was sick, the devil a monk would be;
The devil grew well, the devil a monk was he![498]
"All criminals turn preachers when they are under the gallows" (Italian).[499] "The galley is in a bad way when the corsair promises masses and candles" (Spanish).[500]
Satan rebukes sin.[501]
The friar preached against stealing when he had a pudding in his sleeve.
According to the Italian account of the affair the friar had a goose in his scapulary on that occasion.[502] "Do as the friar says, and not as he does" (Spanish).[503]
To carry two faces under one hood.
To be what the Romans called "double-tongued,"[504] or, in French phrase, "To wear a coat of two parishes."[505] Formerly the parishes in France were bound to supply the army with a certain number of pioneers fully equipped. Every parish claimed the right of clothing its man in its own livery, whence it followed that when two parishes jointly furnished only one man, he was dressed in parti-coloured garments, each parish being represented by a moiety which differed from the other in texture and colour.
To be "Jack o' both sides," true to neither. The Romans called this "Sitting on two stools."[506] Liberius Mimus was one of a new batch of senators created by Cæsar. The first day he entered the august assembly, as he was looking about for a seat, Cicero said to him, "I would make room for you were we not so crowded together." This was a sly hit at Cæsar, who had packed the senate with his creatures. Liberius replied, "Ay, you always liked to sit on two stools."
The Arabs say of a double dealer, "He says to the thief, 'Steal;' and to the house-owner, 'Take care of thy goods.'" "He howls with the wolves when he is in the wood, and bleats with the sheep in the field" (Dutch).[507]
If the devil is vicar, you'll be clerk.
If the deil be laird, you'll be tenant.—Scotch.
The deil ne'er sent a wind out of hell but he wad sail with it.—Scotch.
The vicar of Bray will be vicar of Bray still.
Simon Aleyn, or Allen, held the Vicarage of Bray, in Berkshire, for fifty years, in the reigns of Henry VIII., Edward VI., Mary, and Elizabeth, and was always of the religion of the sovereign for the time being. First he was a Papist, then a Protestant, afterwards a Papist, and a Protestant again; yet he would by no means admit that he was a turncoat. "No," said he, "I have always stuck to my principle, which is this—to live and die vicar of Bray." His consistency has been celebrated in a song, the burden of which is,—
"For this is law I will maintain—
Unto my dying day, sir,
Whatever king in England reign,
I'll be the vicar of Bray, sir."
"Such are men, now o' days," says Fuller, "who, though they cannot turn the wind, they turn their mills, and set them so that wheresoever it bloweth, their grist should certainly be grinded."
During the Peninsular war many signboards over shops and hotels in Spanish towns had on one side the arms of France, and on the other those of Spain, which were turned as best suited the interests of their owners and the feelings of the troops which alternately occupied the place.
It is hard to sit at Rome and fecht wi' the pope.—Scotch.
Prudence forbids us to engage in strife with those in whose power we are. Oriental servility goes further than this. Bernier tells us that it was a current proverb in the dominions of the Great Mogul, "If the king saith at noonday, 'It is night,' you are to say, 'Behold the moon and stars!'" The Egyptians say, "When the monkey reigns dance before him." The philosopher desisted from controversy with the Emperor Hadrian, confessing himself unable to cope in argument with the master of thirty legions.
There's nae gude in speaking ill o' the laird within his ain bounds.—Scotch.
On this principle Baillie Nicol Jarvie thinks it well, when passing the Fairies' Hill, to call them, as others do, men of peace, meaning thereby to conciliate their good-will. "Speak not ill of a great enemy," says Selden, "but rather give him good words, that he may use you the better if you chance to fall into his hands. The Spaniard did this when he was dying. His confessor told him (to work him to repentance) how the devil tormented the wicked that went to hell. The Spaniard replying, called the devil 'my lord.' 'I hope my lord the devil is not so cruel.' His confessor reproved him. 'Excuse me,' said the don, 'for calling him so. I know not into what hands I may fall; and if I happen into his, I hope he will use me the better for giving him good words.'"
It is good to have friends everywhere.
It's gude to hae friends baith in heaven and hell.—Scotch.
Brantôme relates that Robert de la Mark had a painting executed, in which were represented St. Margaret and the devil, with himself on his knees before them, a candle in each hand, and a scroll issuing from his mouth, containing these words: "If God will not aid me, the devil surely will not fail me." This is quite in the spirit of Virgil's line, "If I cannot bend the celestials to my purpose I will move hell."[508] Others besides De la Mark have thought it prudent "To offer a candle to God and another to the devil" (French);[509] or, "A candle to St. Michael and one to his devil" (French),[510] lest the time might come when the devil under the archangel's feet should get the upper hand. Upon the same principle a discreet person in the early Christian times took care never to pass a prostrate statue of Jupiter without saluting it.
One must sometimes hold a candle to the devil.