ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY.

MATRIMONY.—A highly respectable Gentleman, who has, for many years, distinguished himself as an important Public Functionary, is desirous of haltering his condition, and tying the knot of wedlock with a Lady of congenial sentiments. Having, himself, a very tender disposition, he stipulates for the same on the part of the object of his attachment; and as he is partial to good spirits, he hopes she will always have a stock. She must be duly impressed with a regard for the dignity of her husband's station, and must never associate with her inferiors, and whatever pledges she makes, she must be careful to redeem. The Advertiser is not very particular as to personal attractions; and with regard to money, he has seen so many people in a state of dependence, that he merely trusts she will come provided against such an unpleasant contingency. On these conditions, which are the gaol of his wishes, he will give the fair object of his affections her full swing, and be perfectly resigned to his fate. He anxiously looks for a line, addressed "John Ketch, Esq., opposite the Debtors' Door, Old Bailey."

N.B. The Schoolmaster in Newgate, who drew up the above advertisement, for his respected friend, Mr. Ketch, takes this opportunity of contradicting a report, which has been current for some time past,—that the Schoolmaster is abroad, which is quite foreign from the fact. Arrangements were certainly made to that effect, which, had they been carried into execution, he would have been quite transported; but he regrets to state, that he is under the necessity of remaining at his old abode, the large stone house in the Old Bailey.

FEBRUARY.

1835.]		FEBRUARY.

		Birds, this month, do bill and coo;
		Do the like, and you may rue.
		Courting is a pretty pleasure;
		Wed in haste, repent at leisure.
		* * * * * *
		To hen-peck'd husbands what a feast!
		This month, all women talk the least.
M	Season's	Odd Matters.	WEATHER.
D	Signs.
1	mizzle
			Rain or hail,
2	drizzle	VALENTINE'S DAY.
			☽ ☍
3	frizzle	I can't make out what they're about,
		Nor how the men incline;	snow or sleet
4	raw	I've watch'd each knock, since nine
		To get a Valentine.	☉ ♊ ♓ ♓
5	thaw
		In vain I've tried on every side,	in
6	hearts	Some happy chance to see,
		For, ah, alas! there came to pass	this month
7	darts	No Valentine for me.

8	smarts	From morn till night I've scream'd "The light	☌ ♈ ♒ ♄ ⚹
		Guitar," above a week.
9	loves	"Bid me discourse, has made me hoarse,	you're
		Till I can scarcely speak.
10	doves		sure to meet.
		Through rain and snow I always go
11	gloves	To Tuesday evening lecture,
		Yet snow and rain don't bring a swain;	♀ ♂ ☿
12	willing	And why, I can't conjecture.
			If you don't
13	billing	In short, to find a lover kind,
		I've us'd all honest ways,	♊ ☌ ⊕ ♓
14	wooing	I've pinch'd my toes, and no one knows
		How tight I've lac'd my stays.	why then
15	cooing
		Three times to-day, across the way,	you won't:
16	eyes	The postman has been seen—
		And this makes four—at Jones's door
17	sighs	One! two! "For Betty Green."	☊ ♅ ♑ ♎ ⚹

18	mate	Well! on my word, old Major Bird	Perhaps
		Stands making signs, I think,—
19	fate	(If Betty dares to set her snares,—)	there won't
		I'm sure I saw him wink.
20	love		be one
		I vow I'll call, and tell it all;
21	cold	They'll give her instant warning;
		And, but the river makes one shiver,	♃ ☉ ♐ ♋ ♉
22	scratch	I'd drown to-morrow morning.
			nor t'other:
23	scold
			☍ ☿
24	fight
			Why then
25	bite
			'twill happen
26	spite
			♊ ☿ ⚹
27	mope
			in
28	rope		some other.