The following are some of the best matches I have played:——

I

Me. Hullo!

A Voice. Is that the Midland Railway?

Me. Yes, Madam. Which department do you require?

A V. It’s about some eggs. An egg-box was despatched from Hitchin——

Me (obsequious). I will put you through to the Goods and Transit Department, Madam.

A V. (fervent). Oh, thank you!

Me (after a short stroll round the garden—in a gruff railway-voice). Hullo! Motor-vans and Haulage Department——

A V. Oh, it’s about some eggs. An egg-box——