This he caused to be printed in all the publick News-Papers, and although there was no such Purse lost, and consequently no Claim made, the Action was cry'd up through the Town as the most just and laudable that was ever done by a Citizen, and particularly by a young Beginner; some saying, How many were there in the World that would have been silent enough on such an occasion? And others, Ay, Ay; if it were not for some such honest People left amongst us, the World would never stand. Trade and Business now flow'd in so fast upon him, that he was scarce able to undergo the Fatigue of his Shop; which was constantly crouded with Women of all Ranks and Conditions, who, they said, were sure to meet with fairer Usage there, than in any other in the City. His barely averring, upon the Word of an honest Man, that the Goods in dispute lay him in more prime-cost than was bid him, would go further than the Oaths of a dozen Witnesses in Guild-hall; and when he was urged to say, as I'm a Christian, or, if one living Soul may believe another, it would satisfy the most Judicious and Thrifty, and remove from his Shop the worst of Goods at the most extravagant Prices.
The great Dealer in India Goods is to sell as much China, Silks, and Muslins, &c. as he can, by which he shall get what he proposes to be reasonable, according to the customary Profits of his Business. As to a Lady, what she would be at, is to please her Fancy, and buy cheaper by a Shilling or two in the Pound, than the Things she wants are commonly sold at. Upon the approach of her Chariot to one of these Magazines of Trifles, up steps a Gentleman-like Man, that has every thing clean and fashionable about him; who, in low obeisance, pays her homage; and as soon as her pleasure is known that she has a mind to come in, hands her into the Shop; where immediately he slips from her, and in half a Moment, with great Address, entrenches himself behind the Compter. Here facing her, with a profound Reverence and modish Phrase, he begs the favour of knowing her Commands. Let her say and dislike what she pleases, she can never be directly contradicted. She deals with a Man in whom consummate Patience is one of the Mysteries of his Trade; and whatever Trouble she creates, she is sure to hear nothing but the most obliging Language; and has always before her a chearful Countenance, where Joy and Respect seem to be blended with Good-Humour, and all together make up an artificial Serenity, more ingaging than untaught Nature is able to produce.
When two Persons are so well met, the Conversation must be very agreeable, as well as extremely mannerly, tho' they talk about Trifles. Whist she remains irresolute what to take, he seems to be the same in advising her, and is very cautious how to direct her Choice: but when once she has made it, and is fix'd, he immediately becomes positive that it is the best of the sort; extols her Fancy, and the more he looks upon it, the more he wonders he should not before have discovered the pre-eminence of it over any thing he has in his Shop. By Precept, Example, and great Application, he has learn'd and observ'd to slide into the inmost Recesses of the Soul, found the Capacity of his Customers, and discover'd their blind side unknown to them: By all which he is instructed in fifty other Stratagems, to make her overvalue her own Judgment; as well as the Commodity she would purchase. The greatest Advantage he has had over her, lies in the most material part of the Commerce between them, the Debate about the Price, which he knows to a Farthing, and she is wholly ignorant of: therefore he no where more egregiously imposes on her Understanding: and tho' here he has the liberty of telling what Lyes he pleases, as to the Prime-Cost, and the Money he has refused, yet he trusts not to them only; but attacking her Vanity, makes her believe the most incredible things in the World, concerning his own Weakness, and her superior Abilities. He had taken a Resolution, he says, never to part with that Piece or Set under such a Price, but she has the power of talking him out of his Goods beyond any body he ever sold to: He protests, that he loses by what she offers; but seeing that she has a fancy for it, and is resolv'd to give no more, rather than disoblige a Lady he has such an uncommon value for, he'll let her have it; and only begs, that another time she will not stand so hard with him. In the mean time the Buyer, who has a voluble Tongue, and imagines herself no Fool, is easily persuaded that she has a very winning way of Talking; and thinking it sufficient, for the sake of Good Breeding, to disown her Merit, and in some witty Repartee retort the Compliment, he makes her swallow very contentedly the substance of every thing he tells her. The upshot is, that with the satisfaction of having bought, as she thinks, according to her expectation, she has paid exactly the same Price as any body else would have done; and give much more than, rather than not have sold his Goods, he would have taken.
Those who have never minded an Accident that once happened to a spruce Mercer on Ludgate-Hill, have neglected a Scene of Life that is very entertaining. A genteel young Lady, very richly apparelled, made a full stop, in a Hackney-Coach, at the Door of this sharp-sighted Citizen; who, with his wonted Civility, conducted her into his Shop. After she had spent two or three Hours in tumbling over his Goods, and exclaiming against his frightful Prices, and after divers Doubts and Hesitations, she fix'd her Determination on Silks and Brocades to the value or amount of 100l. and then, with a handsome Apology for Women's seldom gadding abroad with such a Sum of Money in their Pockets, desires he would do her the honour to wait upon her, with the Goods, to her Husband's House, naming a very eminent Surgeon at St. James's. In the interim Dinner is gone up, and the Mercer invites his fair Customer to take a Family Morsel with him, before they went to St. James's. At Dinner many Excuses pass'd on the side of the Mercer and his Wife, for the indifferent Fare; and on the Lady's side as many Declarations, that all was mighty good and well; and faithfully promis'd, that if his Goods answer'd her expectation, she would never quit his Shop, but would also procure most of her Friends and Acquaintance to deal with him. She was seiz'd with a fainting Fit or two, with other pretty affected Symptoms of a breeding Lady, which led on a great deal of good humour upon the subject of Marriage. When Dinner was over, a Coach was call'd, the Lady and her Purchase were handed in with the greatest alacrity, and order'd to go to Mr. —— a Surgeon's. All the way, a great deal of obliging Discourse pass'd on both sides; and the Mercer, not a little proud of his pretty Customer, and the large Roll of Silk that lay in sight, took care to bow to all his Acquaintance as he pass'd along. When the Coach stopp'd, she very pertly ask'd the Servant that open'd the Door, if his Master was in the Surgery; and being answer'd he was, she says, take care, put that Parcel by carefully, and shew this Gentleman into the Parlour. In the mean time, herself went up to the Master, and addresses herself to the following purpose; viz. "That about two years since, her too indulgent Parents," naming a Family of good account in the Country, "had unfortunately married her to Mr. —— a Mercer on Ludgate-Hill; but that his Life, since their Marriage, had been so scandalous and dissolute, that, in short, he had not only ruin'd her Fortune, but she fear'd her Constitution, by his Conversation with Scrumpets; and that her Condition was such, she knew not what to do with herself, nor how to make her Case known to any living Creature." He was going directly to examine her, but that she desired he would desist, and talk first with Mr. ——, her Husband, naming the Mercer, who, she said, was below stairs waiting for that purpose. She begg'd not to be present, for she could scarce bear the sight of a Wretch who had used her so cruelly. She being withdrawn, the Surgeon went down stairs, and invited the Mercer into the Surgery; and began with asking, How he found himself? The Mercer answer'd, truly he could not boast of a large share of Health, but that he made a shift to rub on; but adds he, Sir, your Lady had a sudden Disorder this Day, as she was at Dinner at my House; then, with a Smile, we once thought we must have made her your Patient, by sending for you to her assistance. Zounds, says the Surgeon in a surprize, what, my Wife dine at your House! I knew she went into the City. Replies the Mercer, We had but a sorry Entertainment for her; however, she hath made herself amends in her Bargain; and then presents him with a Bill of Parcels for 100l. for Silks sold and delivered. The Surgeon, in a violent agony, rang the Bell for his Servants, bidding them run all over the City, and find their Mistress. Sir, says the Mercer, you need not give your self that trouble, to be sure she's in the House, for the Lady came with me in a Coach from the City. This put him into a greater fury; D—mn ye, Sir, your own pocky Slut, you mean; I'd have ye know, my Wife keeps no such Rascals company. To blows they went, and the Bones of the Skeletons rattled as fast in the Glasses, as those of the Combatants. A Constable was call'd, and charged with the Mercer, for endeavouring to defraud the Surgeon of 100l. by false Tokens and Pretences. And both the Men continued so hot and outrageous, and such Scurrilities pass'd between them, that the Mistake was vastly far from being clear'd up, and the Cheat set to rights. The Mercer was carried in Custody to a Tavern, in order to go before a Magistrate, cursing and reviling all the Surgeons as he went along; saying, if those were their Tricks, it was time to give over Trade; and what still vex'd him more, to have his poor innocent Wife call'd pocky B—ch, and himself all the debauch'd Villains into the Bargain. The Surgeon, on the other hand, cries out, A new piece of Villany, a Fellow brings a Whore, and a Bill of Parcels, to rob my House, and has withal the Impudence to boast of a Conversation he has truly had with my Wife in a Hackney-Coach. The Surgeon's Wife had been found over a Dish of Tea at a Relation's House in Crutched-Fryars, where she had dined, and had hurried home in such a manner, that the Horses stood in a dropping Sweat at the Door. Soon after comes the Mercer's Wife, almost frighted to death, accompanied with half her Relations, and finds a Mob of a thousand People about the House where her Husband was kept Prisoner. An Hour more past before the Fraud was discover'd by either Party, and the Affair set in a true light; when, upon enquiring, the Fair Cheat it seems had, so soon as the Mercer was invited out of the Room he was placed in, given the Servant half a Crown, and went off with the Silks, and it has not been known who she was to this day.
While the State-Lottery was Drawing at the Guild-hall in London, an Irishman stood amongst the Croud, meditating upon Ways and Means to procure a Meal's Meat; his Belly, it seems, having been a Bankrupt for many Days before. At length, hearing a Prize of 1000l. proclaimed, he fell into an Exstacy, crying out, the Ticket was his, which drew the Eyes of all the People present upon him: he ran up to the Hustings among the Managers, and for better Satisfaction, desired to be inform'd of the principal Clerks whether the Number he had heard in the Hall was entitled to the 1000l. Prize. They assured him it was, and gave him Joy on his Success. He told the Clerks and Proclaimers, that when the Wheels were clos'd, and the Day's Drawing concluded, he should be glad of their Company to eat a bit of something or other with him at a neighbouring Tavern. When the Lottery-Men had done their Business, they accordingly came, like so many Millers, powdering every one that brush'd against them to the Tavern, where the Spits, Boilers and Stew-pans were all a going Tantivy; the Master of the House sent privately to the Ringers, to tell them he had a Gentleman, his Guest, whom Fortune had favour'd in the Lottery, that if his Vanity was touch'd up with a Peal or two, he would warrant them a Pair of Pieces for the Complement. St. Lawrence's Bells were at it in an instant, and when the Ringers came to pay their Respects to his Honour, he order'd them three Guineas at the Bar. The Landlord, when he was paying the Money, was not a little proud of his own Foresight, saying, Gentlemen, did not I tell you how it would be?
Dinner was served up, when the Vintner and all his Servants were at their Stations, in close and diligent Attendance upon the Company. The Discourse turn'd chiefly upon the niggardly Dispositions of some, whom Fortune had favour'd in the same Manner, and the various Humours and Tempers of Mankind: what unaccountable Successes attended on some People, and the Misfortunes that others were visibly destin'd to. In the Evening, the Reckoning was call'd for, together with three or four peremptory Bottles: the Bill came to five Pounds; the Master of the Feast, perusing it, excepted to one of the Articles, as being an exorbitant Charge; and as he said, making a Property of Good-Nature. All the Company join'd with much Warmth in the Complaint; upon which, he said he would go down and give it the Landlord in his Bar. When he was got below Stairs, in a careless Manner, with a Pipe in his Mouth, and without his Hat; he saunter'd about for a Minute or two, and then found an Opportunity to slip away, leaving the Reck'ning to be paid by his Companions above stairs. The Master of the House had the more reason to be shock'd when he heard of the Imposture, because he had not only paid the three Guineas for the Steeple-Musick, but had lent him ten Guineas more out of his Pocket for pretended Exigencies. The Gentlemen could not afterwards pass through the Hall without being insulted; one unlucky Rogue bawling out, What was the Reck'ning at the Tavern? and another answering, Five Pounds principal Money.
We have had instances of Jurymen, who have had their Pockets pick'd when they have been sitting upon Trials of Life and Death; and whilst a Prosecutor has been giving Evidence against one Rogue, another has at that very instant robb'd him of his Snuff-Box and Handkerchief.
There are eight Sessions of Oyer and Terminer and Jail-Delivery usually holden in London in a Year, many of which, through the great Number of Prisoners try'd, continue four or five Days successively; during which time, the Old-Bailey-Yard is crouded with an idle disorderly Crew of Persons of both Sexes, who have no other Business but to obstruct those who have any unwish'd for Avocation to the Place——In one Corner stands a Circle, compos'd of, perhaps, a Baker's-Boy, a Journeyman-Shoemaker, a Butcher's-'Prentice, and a Bailiff's-Follower, telling how it was; By what means such a Robber was taken; Who his Relations are; One boasting of being his near Neighbour; and another of an intimate Acquaintance with him, &c.——In another, a heap of Earthen-ware Women, with Straw Hats, and their black and blue Eyes and swoln Faces, lamenting the Fate of poor Bob, or Jemmy, hoping the L—d will deliver him out of the Hands of his Adversaries; meaning the Laws of his Country——In a third, is a row of Spittle-field Weavers, with the Lice passing in Review over their Shoulders, before two or three lazy Silver-button'd Alehouse Fellows at their Elbows; near whom, are four or five old Women, shaking their Heads at the Wickedness of the Times, and what a likely young Fellow pass'd just now to his Trial, wondering that Youth won't take warning, &c.——A Yard farther, two or three Grenadiers together, with a red-faced Serjeant or Corporal of the Foot Guards, ready to rap a Reputation for some offending Brother. These, together with two or three Dozen of Whores and Thieves from Rosemary-lane and St. Giles's, and a Company of idle Sailors from Wapping, resolve themselves into Committees of threes, fours, and fives, all over the Sessions-house-yard, and there debate on the Fates and Circumstances of the Criminals, till the latest Hour of the Court's sitting, be the Season ever so rigorous, or their Affairs at home ever so pressing. But sometimes, by the sudden and hasty turning in of a Coach, these Committees are all suspended, and squeez'd up against the Walls, or else oftentimes, through their being a little too verbose and vociferous; the Court, by their Officer upon the Leads, calls them to Peace and Order.
Nor are the Taverns, Ale-houses, and Brandy-shops in the Neighbourhood less fill'd with idle Spectators: for, besides the Prosecutors and their Witnesses, (which must necessarily attend) there are infinite Numbers of Watch-makers, Barbers, Poulterers, Engravers, and other Artizans and Handicraft Tradesmen, who have no other Business there, but to hearken to the Stories of the Newgate Solicitors and their Companions, and so neglecting their Callings and Families at home, sit tippling one half Pint after another, till they become as fuddled as a Beef-Eater at a Tavern on a Sunday Morning, and go home mightily edified with the particulars of a Trial for a Rape, or a Highway Robbery.
That Figure which the Sextons of Parishes has made in the World of late Years, is an evident Token of the flourishing State of the Worshipful Corporation of Corps-stealers. There seldom passes a Night, but we hear of some Defunct Plebeian eloping out of one Church-yard or other: nor are those of better Blood more secure, for all their Bolts and Barricadoes. This felonious Commodity, I am told, is sold by Weight, and that the Purchasers generally consider and weigh well what they are about, before they strike a Bargain. The Corpse of a plain Milk-Maid is said to fetch at least 7d. in the Pound more than that of a Countess; and, notwithstanding the highest feeding and fattening, a common Joiner's has had vastly the preference of a Major General's in the Market. But, however, this Calling is liable to many Hazards and Losses as well as others, for oftentimes the Dealers meet with Crosses, which they are oblig'd, though very unwillingly, to bear on their Backs.