Why are men who lose by the failure of a bank like Macbeth? Because each has his bank-woe (Banquo).
Why is a row between Orangemen and Ribbonmen like a saddle? Because there’s a stir-up (stirrup) on both sides.
Why is a prosy story-teller like the Thames Tunnel? Because he is a great bore.
Why should well-fed M. P.s object to triennial parliaments? Because it puts them on short commons.
Why are ladies so fond of officers? Because every lady likes a good offer, sir (officer).
When is the music at a party most like a ship in distress? When it sets the pumps agoing.
Why is your first-born child like a legal deed? Because it is all-engrossing.
Why is a hackney coachman like a conscientious man? Because he has an inward check on his outward action.
Why is a milkwoman who never sells whey the most independent person in the world? Because she never gives whey (way) to any one.