Why is the blessed state of matrimony like an invested city? Because when out of it we wish to be in it, and when in it we wish to be out of it.
Why are sentries like day and night? Because when one comes the other goes.
When does the eagle turn carpenter? When he soars (saws) across the woods—and plains.
We beg leave to ax you which of a carpenter’s tools is coffee-like? An ax with a dull edge, because it must be ground before it can be used.
When is a carpenter like a circumstance? When he alters cases.
How many young ladies does it take to reach from New York to Philadelphia? About one hundred, because a Miss is as good as a mile.
Tell us why it is vulgar to send a telegram? Because it is making use of flash language.
Why is a spider a good correspondent? Because he drops a line by every post.
What is the difference between a correspondent and a co-respondent? One is a man who does write, and the other a man who does wrong.
O tell us what kind of servants are best for hotels? The Inn-experienced.