Effie: "George and I have been down-stairs in the dining-room, Mr. Mitcham. We've been playing Husband and Wife!"

Mr. Mitcham: "How did you do that, my dear?"

Effie: "Why, Georgy sat at one end of the table, and I sat at the other; and Georgy said, 'This food isn't fit to eat!' and I said, 'It's all you'll get!' and Georgy said, 'Damn!' and I got up and left the room!"

* * *

NOT WHAT SHE MEANT

She: "I am sorry to hear that they have separated. Is there no chance of their becoming reconciled?"

He: "Oh, they seem to be quite reconciled."

* * *

He: "By the bye, talking of old times, do you remember that occasion when I made such an awful ass of myself?"

She: "Which?"