Blessed is the man who loveth his wife’s relations; and not only blessed, but also scarce.
Love laughs at locksmiths, but we defy anybody or anything to laugh at a plumber.
The Rochester Express complains that the mornings get up too early.
The difference between a woman and an umbrella is, that you can shut up an umbrella.
Youth—“Pa, give me an example of a ‘floating debt.’” Pa—(sadly)—“My yacht.”
A cold wave—The preliminary flourish of the handkerchief.
A goose is an inoffensive fowl, and yet everybody gets down on her.
When a man bows assent to what you are saying he stoops to concur.
If you lack pluck, just eat buckwheat cakes. They’ll make you come to the scratch.
The church festival season is nearly over, and the solitary oyster will soon be out of his stew.